France Today

Bienvenue chez nous - snarky French reality TV

2012-02-02T12:06:00.005+01:00

TF1 is offering viewers another of those mindless reality TV shows requiring virtually no brain cell activity.

Bienvenue chez nous is a French version of the UK show Three in a bed.

Contestants judging the cleanliness of a (screenshot from TF1 video of Bienvenue chez nous)

It's a Dîner presque parfait (which is a French copy on rival channel M6 of the UK's Come dine with me - what is it with French TV executives? Can't they come up with their own ideas?) for owners of chambre d'hôtes.

Each episode (it's broadcast every evening Monday-Friday) sees owners (they're always in couples) visiting and spending the night in each others' businesses.

At the end of their stay they give marks out of 10 based on four criteria: the friendliness of their hosts, the location of the establishment, the quality of services proposed such as the meals and activities offered to discover the region, and the cleanliness of the rooms and how well-equipped they are - or not.

Viewers get to see the ratings which will be revealed to all those taking part at the end of the week.

Each couple also leaves comments which the featured owners get to read and react to at the end of every programme.

Oh yes. There's one final criterion, kept secret from everyone until the final show - the amount each couple thinks the stay has been worth.

That's the "concept" - yes such a thing exists and is helpfully spelt out on the official website - of the show.

The reality (ouch) is another excuse for people to judge each other, show how ill-behaved and critical they can be of one another in front of the cameras and in general provide a platform for all round snarkery.

Sadly it in no way reflects the bloody hard work that goes in to running a business, and fails to focus on the time, money and effort renovating and maintaining a property or the courage of those brave enough to take the plunge of trying to make a living by inviting complete strangers into their home.

Bienvenue chez nous could be instructive and insightful.

Instead it seems to belittle the efforts made by those who run a chambre d'hôtes and provide a battleground for egos - all in the name of "entertainment".

Bienvenue chez nous?

Given the evidence of those participating in the programme, it would have to be "No thank you."

François Hollande, the joker - a politician with a certain repartee

2012-02-01T14:55:00.006+01:00

The Socialist party's (PS) candidate in this year's French presidential race, François Hollande, is not only a man with a brain (he attended the École Nationale d'Administration, one of the country's most prestigious Grandes écoles or Graduate schools) he also has a reputation of telling jokes.

Over the years his quick witticisms have often been cited as proof that he's a politician with that unusual trait - a sense of humour.

The French president, Nicolas Sarkozy, has referred to Hollande in the past as "Monsieur petites blagues" (Mister Little Jokes) - hardly the most complimentary of nicknames.

But the truth of the matter is that, whatever you might think about his politics, Hollande has a distinctively clever and sharp turn of phrase.

And in case you needed proof, some of his "best" have been collated in a book by Jean-Pierre Gouignart, a former high-ranking civil servant and someone who worked closely with Hollande during his years as first secretary or leader of the PS. published in January.

Some of his one-liners are gems, others you might find...well a little too "personal"

Here's just a selection, translated into English although you might want to read them in their original French.

On Nicolas Sarkozy - no introductions needed.

"What's the difference between Nicolas Sarkozy and the temperature? In spring the temperature is supposed to go up."

Another one?

"What is a sardine? A whale that has endured five years of Sarkozysme."

On the governing centre-right Union pour un Mouvement Populaire (Union for a Popular Movement, UMP)

"What do you call an illness that consists of gesticulating all day, talking without saying anything and telling lies the whole time? The UMP."

And another one.

"What is a member of parliament from the UMP who has two neurones? Gifted."

On Marine Le Pen - leader of the rightwing Front National and the party's candidate in this year's presidential elections.

"What's the difference between Marine Le Pen and a yoghurt? After a certain length of time, a yoghurt develops a form of culture."

Hollande doesn't just make fun of those on the other side of the Right-Left political divide. He's also willing and able to launch the more-than occasional jibe at those in his own party.

For example On Dominique Strauss-Kahn, DSK (does he really need an introduction? Surely by noweveryone knows he is/was).

"What does DSK say to Anne Sinclair (his wife) just after having made love? I'll be home in 20 minutes, darling!"

And about Martine Aubry - Hollande's successor as leader of the PS and opponent in the primaries earlier this year to choose the party's candidate for the April/May elections.

""What constitutes and exchange of ideas within the Socialist Party? It's when you go into Martine Aubry's office with an opinion and come away with hers."

On Jean-Luc Mélenchon - a former PS member who left the party to co-found the leftwing Parti de gauche and who's standing in this year's presidential elections.

"Jean-Luc Mélenchon goes into a bar with a pig under his arm.

'Don't bring that in here !' says the barman.

'It's all right !' replies the pig.

'He's a candidate in the presidential elections !'"

(Boom, boom)

London on the move -those geographical wizards at CNN are at it again

2012-01-31T12:03:00.003+01:00

Remember a couple of months ago when, during the G20 summit in Cannes the US cable news channel CNN managed to show a map during one report which placed the city not on the French Riviera but several hundred kilometres away in Spain?

No big deal perhaps as Cannes is only slightly well-known internationally for hosting an annual film festival and whoever was responsible for the mix-up can be forgiven for his or her error - can't they?

Obviously though the channel isn't content with "small fry" in its attempt to redraw the map of Europe.

It has now turned its attention to a much bigger "fish" - London.

(screenshot CNN)

Because in a report last weekend on the latest arrests in the 'phone hacking scandal that have "rocked" (don't you just love that word?) the United Kingdom, some bright spark at CNN managed to move the capital 120 miles to the north-east.

It is, according to the channel, now to be found in the county of Norfolk - right where Norwich used to be.

But wait.

That's not all.

CNN has also created an entirely new town in the south-west of the country; Cornwall.

That's reassuring isn't it?

Oh well, let's just hope that when it comes to the Summer Olympics the channel manages to get its act together.

On current form though, it doesn't bode well.

Armenian couple name baby after French president - "Sarkozy"

2012-01-30T10:14:00.006+01:00

Without doubt it takes all sorts to make a world, including parents who name their child in honour of someone they truly admire.

But how would you feel if a member of your family or a friend named their son after the French president?

Sarkozy Avetisian (screenshot from Radio Free Europe/Radio Liberty report)

No not "Nicolas" which, let's face it, would be a more recognisably conventional first name, but "Sarkozy".

Well that's exactly what a couple in Armenia has done.

Sarkozy Avetisian was born last week in the country's second largest city of Gyumri and his parents had apparently planned on naming their first child after one of the grandfathers.

But they had a last-minute change of heart, and it was one full of symbolism.

How?

Well last week also saw the passing through the Senate in France, of a controversial bill that makes it a criminal offence in this country to deny that genocide was committed by Ottoman Turks against Armenians during World War I.

The bill was supported by Sarkozy (the French president that is. Are you getting a little confused?) and as it has passed through both the National Assembly and the Senate in France, now only needs his seal of approval to become law.

It's a decision that has not made him - or France - any friends in Turkey; quite the opposite in fact.

And France's foreign minister Alain Juppé has, and will have, more than his work cut out to ease those "diplomatic tensions" between the two countries that have occurred as a result.

In Armenia though and among France's half a million citizens of Armenian descent, the decision is of huge importance and was described as historic.

And it certainly wasn't lost on Karapet Avetisian, the father of the newly-born Sarkozy (the baby, not the French president, just in case you were wondering).

"On behalf of the Armenian people and my own behalf I thank Sarkozy (the French president, just in case you weren't following) for this step," Avetisian said in an interview with Radio Free Europe/Radio Liberty.

"And the name of the child is in his honour."

Satire - France seen by foreigners and the French

2012-01-26T10:21:00.005+01:00

Perhaps you recall a recent post here, "Europe according to bigots".

It featured satirical maps by Bulgarian-born graphic designer Yanko Tsvetkov and illustrated how the continent was viewed by others around the world by relying on clichés and stereotypes.

There's a similar set of maps doing the rounds concentrating specifically on La Belle France - as it's seen not only from abroad but also by the French.

Of course they're not to be taken seriously, but hidden behind the caricature isn't there just a slight element of truth?

For the Japanese, the country is portrayed as just one big tourist destination while the Chinese are only interested in Paris and its suburbs because both give them the chance to get their hands on businesses at a knock-down rate.

From the French point of view, there's one showing environmentalist and anti-globalisation campaigner José Bové's view of a country covered in McDonald's outlets for example.

And another emphasises Parisians' blinkered view that the City of Lights is the centre of the Universe and anything else is...well provincial.

Here are a few screengrabs showing UK and US views as well as those of some French.

Click on the images to enlarge

(screengrab from wikistrike.com)

For the rest you can go here.

Hervé Morin's historic error - a trip back in time

2012-01-25T11:09:00.005+01:00

Fancy a spot of time travel? Then French presidential candidate Hervé Morin seems more than willing to oblige.

Hervé Morin (screenshot from announcement of candidature video)

Morin isn't making life easy for himself.

His campaign launch squeaked into gear last November much to the annoyance of the ruling centre-right Union pour un Mouvement Populaire (Union for a Popular Movement, UMP) which has been urging the leader of the smaller centre-right Nouveau Centre (NC) to put aside any stately ambitions he might have and throw his weight his behind the current president Nicolas Sarkozy.

Morin, who served as Sarkozy's - sorry that should of course read prime minister François Fillon as he's supposed to be the head of the government - defence minister from May 2007 until November 2010, was having none of it though and has so far doggedly stuck to his proverbial guns (ooh a bit of a pun there).

Not that it seems to be doing him much good as his poll ratings rarely climb above one (that really need to be spellt out) percent, as impersonator Nicolas Canteloup is of so fond of reminding listeners to his radio slot in the mornings on Europe 1 and viewers to his TV sketch in the evenings.

Then there's the case of François Bayrou - who used to be a buddy of Morin when both were members of the (not quite, but to all intents and purposes now defunct or at least on paper) centre-right Union pour la Démocratie Française (UDF).

Are you following? This is French politics where allegiances are built on the shiftiest of sands.

Morin supported Bayrou when the latter became the so-called Third Man in the 2007 presidential race, but the two men fell out shortly afterwards with Morin joining the government and Bayrou setting up a new centre party Mouvement démocrate or MoDem.

In stark contrast to Morin, Bayrou's announcement of his candidature in December was judged by most political pundits as a success in terms of pushing him up the polls and into double figures. Bayrou was on a roll and for some still is, faring better than he did at the same stage last time around.

Not content with being an also also-ran (will he last the course and is anyone really bothered?) Morin has now made a complete fool of himself and provided everyone with a classic bit of political nonsense.

It happened at a meeting last weekend in the southern French city of Nice with Morin coming over all emotional as he recalled the Allied landings on the Normandy coast in 1944.

Only during his speech the 50-year-old (important bit of information that) managed an HG Wells kind of moment as he literally travelled back in time to give the impression that he had been present when the Allies landed.

"You, some among you, with grey hair, witnessed the storming of the Provence beach," he said.

"I saw the landing of allied troops in Normandy," he continued without hesitating at the absurdity of his statement.

Morin was born in 1961.

Journalists, humorists and of course Internauts were quick to pick up on the mistake and Twitter was abuzz with moments from the past at which Morin could claim to have been impossibly present.

Cruel.

But at least Morin had the guts to face up to his mistake (did he have any other choice?) by Tweeting his own "Congratulations on your humour" and saying that "The French were full of creativity."

British hairdresser brings the "Hair bus" to a part of rural France

2012-01-24T15:26:00.006+01:00

You're probably familiar with the idea of mobile libraries, bakers or even butchers in France; serving mainly (although not exclusively) remote rural areas and a definite Godsend to many.

But how about a mobile hairdresser?

Mark Collett (screenshot from TF1 news)

Yes they exist too - at least one does in the département of Haute-Vienne in the southwestern region of Limousin and it's run by an enterprising British hairdresser, Mark Collett, and his French wife, Isabelle.

"Hair bus", le salon de coiffure itinérant

Collett and his wife Isabelle are both hairdressers and since last September (according to the regional daily la Montagne ) have been running a mobile service for those living within 30 kilometre radius of their base, the village of Saint-Bonnet-Briance.

They are both are both hairdressers and since last September (according to another report in the regional daily la Montagne ) have been running a mobile service for those living within 30 kilometre radius of their base, the village of Saint-Bonnet-Briance

They invested in an old (British) minibus previously used for transporting the disabled and adapted it to suit their needs.

"We chose that type of vehicle because we wanted to make it easier for people who had reduced mobility to take up our service,' Collett told the paper.

It took the couple almost 18 months to remodel the minibus and file the necessary official paperwork, but TF1 news reported on Monday, it certainly seems to be successful.

"We're very happy although sometimes it's pretty unpredictable who'll turn up in certain villages," admits Isabelle.

"But we manage - cutting hair for men, women and of course children."

At €9,50 for men and €13,50 for women their prices are a snip (sorry - inevitable) and customers, judging from the TF1 report, seem to be happy.

And there's no need to make an appointment.

Now that's an enterprising spirit!

The "Hair bus" screenshot from TF1 news)

Cheap airlines tickets - don't be fooled by them

2012-01-22T20:29:00.004+01:00

OK so the accompanying video doesn't have a great deal to do with France perhaps - apart from the fact that over the years an increasing number of foreign-based budget airlines have opened up the market by flying into (mainly) provincial destinations.

Ryanair and EasyJet lead the pack of course but there's also FlyBe, Vueling, German Wings, Air Berlin and many, many more. It all depends on where you want to go really.

But one thing many of them share in common are those so-called "hidden costs".

The initial price of the ticket looks like great value.

Only once you start including airport tax, excess baggage charges, the cost of getting to and from an airport which is often miles away from where you actually want to be (The Paris airport which Ryanair uses to "serve" the French capital is actually a good 70 kilometres away) the real "price" you end up paying is far from the original "bargain".

Fascinating Aïda (screenshot from YouTube video)

And that's very much the message behind this hilarious song from the British comedy singing group and satirical cabaret act, Fascinating Aïda.

"Cheap flights" might be a few years old now and contain some rather ribald lyrics for those of you who are faint-hearted (this version comes with subtitles to help you cope with the accent) but it's hysterically funny and - well let's just say - spot on.

Enjoy.

Four young men save elderly French woman from fire

2012-01-21T14:15:00.006+01:00

In need of a break from all the usual doom and gloom you see, hear or read about in the news?

Then how about the story of an elderly woman saved from an apartment fire by the quick thinking and bravery of some of her neighbours.

(screenshot from amateur video)

It happened on an inner city estate in the eastern French city of Colmar last Tuesday, was reported in the regional daily Les Dernières Nouvelles d'Alsace (DNA) the following day and finally picked up by national news on Friday.

And just in case you missed it, here it is.

According to DNA the fire broke out in the 89-year-old woman's apartment late on Tuesday afternoon and, as the flames took control, she found herself trapped on the balcony.

"Some of the other neighbours had already lain mattresses on the ground in readiness for her to jump, but I shouted to her to stay where she was," one of her eventual rescuers, Dimitri Higelin, told DNA.

Dimitri Higelin (screenshot from TF1 news)

The 22-year-old soldier, who had recently completed a tour of duty in Afghanistan, was clearly a quick thinker and definitely the kind of person you would want to have around in an emergency.

He rallied the support of some other young men who lived in the neighbourhood, and a ladder was found.

Hassan Hannoud (screenshot from TF1 news)

"I couldn't just stand around doing nothing and watching a woman being burnt. That was unthinkable," Hassan Hannoud, another one of the four rescuers told TF1 news.

"The only solution was to climb up. I think if she had been there five more minutes, it would have all been over for her."

And climb they did, Higelin putting himself between the woman and the flames when he reached the balcony and the four men working together to carry her down the ladder to safety one floor below.

She spent the night in hospital but was released the following day.

Go ahead, take a look at an amateur video shot by someone who witnessed what happened and watch right until the end as the four men bring her to safety, the onlookers applaud and the sirens of the fire service arriving can be heard.

And admit that it doesn't at least give you a slightly good feeling.

Fanny Ardant's (almost) radio silence

2012-01-20T14:54:00.003+01:00

Asking open-ended questions is surely a golden rule of broadcast journalism.

In fact it's pretty much a guaranteed way of getting anyone to open up and talk no matter what the situation might be.

Fanny Ardant (screenshot from "Nos retrouvailles")

Open-ended questions will (essentially) give the person - in the case which follows, the one being interviewed - the chance to answer with more than just a simple "yes" or "no".

Sadly in France, all too often, a radio or television journalist will pose a mammoth question which, you just know, is going to elicit a response that'll probably end up being shorter.

It's a style which seems to be the accepted norm rather than the exception.

Maybe it's journalists wanting to show just how much they understand the subject under discussion.

Or perhaps they have inflated egos and are all-too-engrossed in themselves and their "take" on the matter, to the detriment of the person they're supposed to be interviewing.

Of course, it's a generalisation. Some can simply pose a pertinent question and the wait for the answer.

There are some very good interviewers with years of experience and capable of teasing a response - even from the most recalcitrant guest.

One such example is Jean-Marc Morandini, who hosts (among other things) a daily one-hour show on Europe 1 radio and a similar programme on one of the country's TNT channels, Direct 8, in the evenings.

All right, they're not exactly mind-stretching or highbrow. Morandini specialises in celebrity gossip and the media, and has a blog (which he's constantly promoting) that's not for anyone wanting a scholarly approach to news.

But even with his years of experience, Morandini sometimes finds himself up against a tough nut to crack, as was the case on Wednesday morning during an interview with one of France's finest actresses, Fanny Ardant.

She had been invited on to the show to talk about her role in the made-for-television film "Nos retrouvailles" scheduled to be screened on France 2 television in the evening and for which she had received some glowing critics (even if the film itself was less lauded).

But as you can hear from the interview, Ardant was being less than co-operative - and a ropey telephone line probably didn't help much.

You can clearly hear Morandini struggling to keep the flow going, although somehow he made it with a laugh of relief to the end of two-and-a-half minutes which includes pauses that were not so much pregnant as they were laboured (ouch).

It's all in French of course.

It raises a smile, but equally the listener is as grateful as the presenter when it's wrapped up.

l'incroyable interview de Fanny Ardant sur Europe 1 Vidéo jeanmarcmorandini sélectionnée dans Replay TV

Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis - to split or shoddy "reporting"

2012-01-19T10:24:00.006+01:00

So after 14 years together and two children, French actress-singer Vanessa Paradis and US actor Johnny Depp are on the brink of splitting up.

Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis (screenshot from Gothica940 YouTube video montage)

They're "living sad and separate lives" according to most "reports" and have been doing so for the past year.

Paradis hasn't been attending premiers of Depp's films (even when they're in the same city at the same time).

And goodness, the couple didn't attend last week's Golden Globes award together; Depp was there but apparently Paradis stayed at home with the kids.

The British and American media is "reporting" that it's as good as over and the French is following suit - but with a little more reserve.

It might be waiting for official confirmation but that doesn't stop it from "reporting" the rumours.

Why all those inverted commas?

Well you have to admit it, the term "reporting" has to be used loosely as there's very little demonstration of actual news gathering. You know, find a story, interview some people (preferably those directly involved) and then write or broadcast the material using attributions.

Nope instead "the highly respected publication" People Magazine - as that much revered bastion of quality journalism Britain's Daily Mail calls it - is used as the main source with "some insiders" or "informants" and of course unnamed "sources" providing insight into the couple's relationship and drawing conclusions which might - or might not - be true.

Accuracy, as it does so often, has flown out of the proverbial window to be substituted by rumour and speculation.

Paradis and Depp might well be on the verge of making some sort of announcement about splitting. They wouldn't be the first and they won't be the last.

They could also have been merely "co-habiting" for the past year, as has been suggested by plenty of celebrity journalists - or should that be "informed People watchers".

But come on, give us a break.

The story might sell and make great gossip, but how about doing some proper journalism before telling us all what is "apparently" or "supposedly" happening or about to happen.

Cloclo film trailer creates buzz

2012-01-18T16:42:00.006+01:00

It looks as though so-called biopics are going to be putting plenty of bums on seats at cinemas over the coming year.

Already there's word out that Meryl Streep is in the running for yet another Oscar nomination for her portrayal of former British prime minister Margaret Thatcher in "The Iron Lady".

Similarly "My week with Marilyn" starring Michelle Williams has been getting rave reviews with the actress also tipped for a possible gong nomination for "capturing the magnetism and vulnerability of Marilyn Monroe."

Then there's "the role of a lifetime" (IndieWire's Melissa Silverstein)for Malaysian actress Michelle Yeoh in her portrayal of Burmese opposition leader and Nobel peace prize winner Aung San Suu Kyi in "The Lady".

Yeoh might not get any nods from Hollywood's direction, but film critics have been largely enthusiastic and the director, Frenchman Luc Besson, has also been praised for "crafting a masterpiece in the gentle telling of a wife and mother who is forced to balance her love for her country against her love for her family." (Working Author's Summer J. Holliday)

All well and good, but where's French cinema (apart from Besson of course) in all of this apparent "biopic trend"?

Well the answer will be revealed on March 14.

That's the release date set for the long-awaited "Cloclo", a film that takes as its title the nickname of an icon of French popular music, the late Claude François.

As far as critics who've already seen a trailer for the film are concerned, director Florent Emilio Siri has made an inspired choice in casting 31-year-old Belgian actor Jérémie Rénier to play the lead role.

Jérémie Rénier is Claude François (screenshot from Cloclo trailer)

The physical resemblance, as TF1 news reported, is "staggering" and, as the national daily Le Figaro wrote it looks as though Rénier has made the role his own - and not just in terms of looking like François.

"I asked for a lengthy preparation period before shooting began," Rénier told the paper.

"I couldn't sing, dance or play the drums, so I had a lot to learn," he continued.

'I also worked a lot on my breathing and exercised. In total it took four months of intense preparation - every day."

The result will be on general release in France just days after the 34th anniversary of François' death.

For those who can't wait, here's the trailer - just to whet your appetite followed by a (rather poorly recorded although there are others available on YouTube that cannot be embedded) clip of François singing one of his biggest hits "Alexandrie Alexandra".

As Radio France Internationale says in its biography of the singer, François was "the undisputed icon of French kitsch" and his songs remain timeless and popular.

Most of his hits in France were French renditions or adaptations of songs that had already been hits in English abroad, but he also co-wrote and recorded the original of what would become one of the standards of popular music throughout the world, "Comme d'habitude" or "My Way" in English.

BFM TV rewrites Titanic history

2012-01-17T16:48:00.006+01:00

The running aground of the Costa Concordia cruise ship after it crashed into rocks off the west coast of Italy last Friday was, of course, a major news story.

Those incredible images of the stricken ship quickly made their way around the world.

And as always, when these things happens, round-the clock news channels were busy reporting "in real time" while looking for new angles to develop the story (and fill air time).

BFM TV - true to its stated desire to bring a "dynamic" US or UK-style presentation to French news reporting - was as usual fast off the mark, pointing out that April would mark the centenary anniversary of the sinking of the Titanic in 1912.

"How come a ship equipped with modern technology to ensure safety could experience a similar fate to that of the Titanic?" the channel asked.

Cue report with expert to "compare and contrast".

Except in its haste to slap something up on the screen, BFM managed to make the simplest of blunders which, in these days of the Net, remains there for everyone to see.

(screenshot from BFM TV report)

As the footage rolled of the Titanic leaving harbour to begin it maiden voyage back in 1912, BFM happily and helpfully informed those watching that just a few days after setting sail, it hit an iceberg.

All when and good, only some gormless newsroom twerp clearly hadn't done their research properly before putting together the report and instead decided to change the ship's UK point of departure.

Perhaps one Hampton was very much like another in the mind of someone who knew no better, but a simple search would have ensured that the channel didn't quite look so idiotic as it informed viewers that... well see for yourself.

For the non Brits among you or those who aren't that hot on UK geography, grab a map of Britain to find just how much of a coastline Northampton has.

Hint - none.

It's a major market town in the landlocked shire which carries its name.

Duh.

Northampton Ordnance Survey OpenData

"Dynamic" was one of the adjectives used in the launch of BFM TV back in 2005.

Perhaps it should also remember another that featured in the PR campaign - "Intelligible".

Renault's same-sex marriage commercial

2012-01-12T14:14:00.005+01:00

Some might consider Renault's latest TV spot to be commercialising the issue of same-sex marriage, others would probably say it's another step in making it socially acceptable in France even if it's not legal - yet.

Maybe both are right, but in any case it seems that the French car manufacturer has come up with a clever idea to keep its Twingo campaign going in a way which is bound to appeal to a generally younger, hipper and more progressive-thinking consumer.

Combining humour, social mores (not to be too pretentious) and a sometimes predictable punch line, the Renault Twingo campaign, in its different forms, has been running for a couple of years.

There are three new spots currently airing on French television, including one featuring same-sex marriage.

A young woman and her father are making their way to the town hall. It's the big day obviously; the wedding.

They enter the room where the ceremony is scheduled to take place and see the groom waiting for them to make the traditional walk with the father accompanying the bride.

Except this is a Renault commercial and things are never quite as they seem.

As they reach the groom, the young woman smiles and says, "Congratulations papa," before kissing him and going to sit down while he steps up to marry his man.

Ah.

Yes all very light-hearted, politically correct (heavens that'll offend some) and in keeping with a campaign that is up-to-date in its thinking or even ahead of its time: the "drag queen", the "strawberry condom" and the "sexy poster" (click on the titles to see them and here for a brief explanation in English) have all been used in recent years.

The latest is again just 30 seconds long or short, but - forgive the pun - spot on, especially if you support same sex marriage, which still isn't recognised in France.

There again as Renault says in its oh-too-clever strap line "Times change. The Twingo too."

Renault's hip and progressive TV spots

2012-01-12T14:00:00.000+01:00

Over the years Renault's Twingo advertising campaign has included several very clever television spots that have, in a simple way, challenged viewers' expectations of what is going to or is supposed to happen.

There was the "drag queen" spot in which a 20-something pulls up in his friend-filled Twingo in front of a trendy nightclub.

There's a queue waiting at the door, including several drag queens.

(Meaningful) looks are exchanged between one of them and the young man until the latter shouts over,"Papa can you help us get in?"

Then there was the "strawberry condom" commercial featuring two women in a car; a grandmother and her granddaughter.

As the older woman parks, the younger woman's 'phone starts ringing and in her attempts to scrabble around in her bag to find it, she upsets some of the contents of the bag on to the floor.

Among the items that fall out is a conbdom which the grandmother picks up to inspect.

"Sophie," she says questioningly.

"You like strawberries now?" and laughing she tucks it into the pocket of her blouse.

And there was a commercial which saw a mother and daughter driving and as they stop at a traffic light the mother spots a poster featuring her scantily-clothed daughter.

"What," she exclaims.

"You've found a job and you didn't tell me.

Don't you just love the commercials for the Renault Twingo?

Eric Cantona for president?

2012-01-10T13:40:00.005+01:00

It's unlikely that he'll manage to get the support of the 500 mayors necessary to stand in the French presidential elections, but former international footballer Eric Cantona is apparently seriously thinking about it.

Image (screenshot from BFM TV report)

According to the national daily Libération, the 45-year-old has sent out a letter to all of the country's nearly 37,000 mayors seeking their backing and outlining how much of an "engaged citizen" he is.

In the letter he wrote that he wants to collect at least 500 signatures to "send out a clear and powerful message; a message of of truth and respect at a time when the country faces difficult choices which will be decisive about its future."

Image (screenshot from BFM TV report)

Cantona is already a sponsor of one of the country's most well-known charities helping the homeless, Fondation Abbé Pierre.

And he has the full backing off the Fondation which launched a petition in September 2011 to make homelessness and the lack of affordable housing a major issue in the presidential campaigns.

"We need a stimulus such as Cantona to restore (the issue of) housing to the place it deserves in the campaign," the Fondation's managing director Patrick Doutreligne told Agence France Presse.

So Cantona for president?

Well it'll be an uphill struggle. Even if he manages to collect those 500 signatures needed to stand, there's the additional problem of financing a credible campaign.

And few will forget his last foray into the political arena in December 2010 when he called for a run on the country's banks by encouraging savers to withdraw all their money in protest at the role of the banks in the global financial crisis.

That day of protest came and went with few heeding the call.

French farmer fined for illegally parking tractor - an ocean away from home

2012-01-04T10:19:00.005+01:00

Anyone familiar with France will know that it's a large country - a very large country.

First up of course there's the mainland that most (well there are exceptions) people will be able to point to on a map of Europe.

(from Wikipedia)

You know; capital - Paris, borders with Belgium, Luxembourg, Germany, Switzerland, Italy, and Spain and a stretch of water separating it from its oldest friendly enemy, the United Kingdom.

But there's more to it. Much more.

And it comes in the shape of its overseas départements, collectivities and territories.

They all have representatives elected to both the National Assembly and Senate and while the collectivities and territories are autonomous, the five départements are to all intents and purposes part of France.

In other words France isn't just the hexagon-shaped metropolitan area in Europe.

It's also the Indian Ocean islands of Réunion and Mayotte, Guyane française (French Guiana) in South America and the Caribbean islands of Martinique and Guadeloupe.

And that's worth bearing in mind, because it might go some way to explaining how bureaucratic mistakes can happen, such as the one Didier Labouygues is currently experiencing.

He's a part-time farmer in the village of Gagnac-sur-Cère in southwestern France, hiring himself and his tractor out when there's work to be done.

Last November he received a fine for having parked his tractor illegally and, as the regional daily La Dépêche du Midi reports, at first sight, all seemed to be in order.

But Labouygues read the letter a little more carefully and discovered that the "apparent offence" had taken place in Fort de France - the capital of Martinique, an ocean and several thousand kilometres away!

"I couldn't believe it," he told the newspaper.

"I took the letter along to the police station and was told that it must be some sort of clerical error (note from France Today - No kidding) and I wrote to Le Centre Automatisé de Constatation des Infractions (CACIR) in Rennes. I'm still waiting for a reply."

Of course Labouygues' case is not an isolated one - far from it.

CACIR has proven itself to be well capable in administrative cock-ups - on a frequent basis.

Just ask Patrick Pilak, a farmer in the village of Gouzougnat in the département of Creuse. From December 2010 until August 2011, he received three separate fines for illegally parking his tractor in Paris...admittedly only 400 kilometres away from where he lived and worked.

Another farmer in the département of l'Oise, just north of Paris, received a similar fine in October for apparently having overrun the meter - close to the château de Versailles. Another improbable location for a tractor.

And then there was the case of Gilles Rocher, also in October 2011, a motorist from Capbreton in southwestern France, fined 143 times for the same offence - each letter being delivered separately.

Back to the latest case though, and the last word perhaps should belong to the mayor of Gagnac-sur-Cère, mayor of the village, Danièle Vallin.

She told La Dépêche du Midi that, "CACIR should do its work properly and check on the credibility of a fine before sending out a letter.

And somehow, you can't help thinking that she might have a valid point.

German skit of Merkozy "Rescue summit or Euros for No One"

2012-01-03T14:43:00.005+01:00

Now it definitely helps if you speak German for a video that has become something of a hit on YouTube ever since it was first posted on December 28.

Merkozy (screenshot from YouTube clip)

It's a parody of a comedy skit broadcast twice every New Year's Eve on German television.

The original is "Dinner for One", a 1963 sketch featuring British comedian Freddie Frinton as James the butler and May Warren as Miss Sophie, who has sadly outlived all her friends but insists on celebrating her 90th birthday party in style...with places set for each of her guests.

Frinton serves each absent guest a drink with every course and raises a toast to the birthday girl on behalf of those invited.

The result is predictable. Frinton becomes ever tipsier until the final scene in which he is about to escort Warren upstairs with the "hilarious" lines,

"Same procedure as last year Miss Sophie?" asks Frinton.

"The same procedure as every year James," replies Warren.

"Well, I'll do my very best," responds Frinton with a saucy wink and a "Good night."

Perhaps it's a German thing, but it has most definitely become an annual institution.

Some bright spark at ARD, one of Germany's two national public broadcasters, though decided to update the whole thing and make it more...well relevant to a modern-day audience.

Satirist Udo Eling of the channel's Morgenmagazin decided to superimpose the heads of French president Nicolas Sarkozy on James the Butler and...well you've probably guessed the other "character" - Germany's chancellor, Angela Merkel as Miss Sophie.

The dialogue is different of course focussing on the relationship of the two who're often collectively called "Merkozy" in the media.

And "absent friends" include the former prime ministers Greece and Spain, Giorgios Papandreou and José Luis Rodríguez Zapatero as well as UK prime minister David Cameron. Italy's Silvio Berlusconi wasn't invited.

The last line of the parody which has Sarkozy fawning to Merkel, described earlier in the sketch as the "only real statesman Europe has to offer" has the French president asking as they mount the staircase, "Madame Merkel, this time without Eurobonds?"

"Yes of course," she replies.

"As always without Eurobonds."

To which Sarkozy responds, "I'll give you my Triple A Madame Merkel."

Well, maybe it sounds funnier in German.

Enjoy?

And the original "Dinner for One" just in case you're up for it.

Which (French) celebs do the French find annoying?

2011-12-29T12:01:00.006+01:00

The results of poll published in France this week reveal just which French celebrities are found to be the most annoying.

Oh yes, how the French seem to love their polls.

Er perhaps scrub that - the media seems to love reporting on the latest survey carried out among the French on its (the media's) behalf.

Well it fills airtime, helps keep a slow-moving news day rolling along and plays nicely into the game of speculation - especially when it comes to politics.

Of course not all polls are political, although with both presidential and parliamentary elections slated for 2012 they'll probably be trotted out at an alarmingly frequent rate with BVA, CSA, Ipsos, Opinionway, TNS Sofres and the like going into overdrive.

But just to round off the year that's coming to a close, the weekly magazine VSD commissioned Harris to canvass a representative sample (well that's what they always say, isn't it?) to come up with a list of the "Most annoying French celebrities or personalities " in several categories.

Poor old Ségolène Royal topped the list as far as the most annoying politicians were concerned.

Obviously the tears and emotion she showed after finishing a distant fourth in the first round of the Socialist party primaries didn't touch the hearts of many (apart from mine).

Dominique Strauss-Kahn (enough said) and the Greens' presidential candidate Eva Joly, rounded out the top three.

Among TV personalities, Benjamin Castaldi was far and away the "winner" as far as the poll was concerned. Proof maybe that years of presenting trashy TV reality shows has more than overshadowed any appeal he might have had among the French for being the grandson of the late, great actress Simone Signoret.

In Arts, it was the philosopher Bernard-Henry Lévy who, proving perhaps that he had made one too many declarations about how he had helped bring democracy to Libya, finished just ahead (or should that be behind) singer/actor Joey Starr.

If nothing else though BHL has, in the course of 2011, given the excellent satirical Les Guignols de l'info on Canal+ more than enough material.

And the sporting pain in the derrière according to VSD, was Bayern München's French international, Franck Ribéry.

Well that's what those polled apparently thought.

What about you though?

If you had been asked to choose someone in each of the four categories - politics, TV, arts and sport - who would you have plumped for, and why?

How about the following?

Politics: Jean-François Copé, the leader of the ruling centre-right party Union pour un Mouvement Populaire (Union for a Popular Movement, UMP).

Copé is of course very media savvy, but he just seems to be on the box a little too often and appears to enjoy making life hard for the admittedly less charismatic but somehow more dependable prime minister François Fillon.

Maybe Copé should concentrate more on the here and now and less on his ambitions for 2017.

Sport: Well ordinarily there would be one man who stands out head and shoulders as truly annoying - Raymond Domenech.

Thankfully though he seems to have slipped off the radar in recent months so the choice would have to be between sports journalist Nelson Monfort and the country's fastest sprinter, Christophe Lemaitre.

Monfort undoubtedly has linguistic skills but his habit of resorting to almost-simultaneous translation when interviewing breathless sportsmen and women immediately after an event is, to say the least, irritating.

There must surely be many a French TV viewer willing him to keep quiet.

And that's perhaps advice Lemaitre should heed as he proves the point that few sportsmen and women from whatever field, have anything truly original or inspiring to say.

Great athlete - definitely. Great orator - definitely...NOT.

As far as TV presenters go, Laurent Ruquier finds himself and his own humour just too hilarious. On the radio he's great - most of the time. But on telly...well, he sniggers and that's just plain unattractive.

Finally Arts - and proving that the term can be used in its very loosest term, it's time to "keep it in the family" so to speak, with the nod going to BHL's other half "actress/singer/director/model/muse (her description)" and generally all round famous for being famous celebrity, Arielle Dombasle.

Her latest album "Diva Latina" was proof yet again that as a singer she simply doesn't cut the mustard - far from it.

Dombasle's rendition of Jeanette's original "Porque te vas" testament to the fact that some people shouldn't be allowed within 500 kilometres of a recording studio.

Over to you.

Anne Sinclair named France's Woman of the Year - really?

2011-12-22T09:37:00.004+01:00

A poll carried out for Terrafemina, an online women's magazine, has named Anne Sinclair as France's Woman of the Year.

Sinclair was a "symbol of courage and tenacity in face of the legal difficulties of her husband," the magazine said in announcing the results of the poll carried out on its behalf by CSA (Conseils-Sondages-Analyses).

No kidding.

It would be hard for anyone tuned in to the news in the weeks following the arrest of her husband, former International Monetary Fund chief Dominique Strauss-Kahn of course, not to have been impressed by her stoicism (and money) as she "stood by her man".

But French Woman of the Year?

Certainly not as far as the Green's presidential candidate Eva Joly is concerned.

"I find it sad," Joly said in an interview on news channel i>Télé.

"It reflects a view of life and gender relations that's very, very old-fashioned," she continued.

"I find it quite shocking, unbelievable even, that her popularity can be greater than that of a prominent politician such as Christine Lagarde," she added.

Lagarde, France's former finance minister and DSK's successor at the IMF came second in the poll.

Deserved or just too much Tammy Wynette about the outcome? What do you think?

The poll was conducted by telephone on December 6/7.

A representative sample of 1,005 people aged 18 and over were asked to choose from a list of 10 names, two women they considered had made the biggest impact in 2011.

Here, in a screenshot from the survey, are the overall results.

screenshot from PDF file from CSA survey

You can download the full report in PDF format from the CSA website.

David Beckham for PSG?

2011-12-21T12:23:00.004+01:00

It's a done deal as far as the national daily Aujourd'hui en France - Le Parisien and the sports daily L'Equipe are concerned.

David Beckham (from Wikipedia)

British footballer David Beckham is set to sign for one of France's top sides, Paris Saint-Germain.

The cost to lure the 36-year-old to the French capital? €800,000 a month according to Le Parisien which will, not surprisingly, make him the country's best-paid player.

Since it bought a controlling interest in PSG earlier this year, the Qatar Investment Authority has been pouring money into the club, appointing former Brazilian international Leonardo as director of football and recruiting players including Argentine Javier Pastore for a reported €39.8 million.

Yes the club has money - lots of it. And the owners seem determined to make it a European footballing powerhouse - in least in terms of spending.

Beckham of course would appear to be the perfect marketing match; he has global recognition and even though he might be "getting on a bit" in terms of the lifespan of a Beautiful Game player, the wisdom and technique to share with the rest of the team.

And there's no forgetting that he comes as part of a package in the form of the glamourous jet-set couple lifestyle he and his wife Victoria lead.

That should keep media interest just as high as it already has been over the past couple of months with reports that they have been consulting estate agents for a suitable pad and private schools for their children.

What price sport - when you can pay for it?

SHOUT for Christmas - well this little girl sure did

2011-12-15T09:35:00.002+01:00

We all have them don't we? Those embarrassing films or photos stashed away somewhere, kept hidden out of sight.

They were made or taken by our parents, proud of us and wanting to share their pleasure with the world.

Nativity angel (screenshot from YouTube video)

Well here's one moment captured on film from several years ago but definitely timeless, and thanks to YouTube, available for everyone and anyone to see.

It's a nativity scene, the sort played out year after year throughout Britain.

But this one, although it starts off innocently enough with the children filing in dressed as Mary, Joseph, shepherds and angels, is one that surely none who were present could ever forget.

All the children break into song...except from 51 seconds and until the end, there's one particular little angel who...well how to put this politely? Well, she rather steals the show.

Enjoy - and try not to break into a massive grin.

Sing-a-long a sailor - HMS Ocean crew get into the festive spirit

2011-12-07T10:22:00.003+01:00

Go on, put yourself in the holiday season mood

You know how some Brits have something of a reputation for being...er...eccentric and not afraid to have a laugh at their own expense?

Well here's something that surely backs up the that often-held view.

(screenshot for HMS Ocean video)

It's lip dubbing - you know the combination of lip syncing and audio dubbing to make a music video - British style.

More specifically it's the crew of HMS Ocean who put together a video to celebrate their anticipated return to the UK on December 9 - just in time for Christmas.

The men and women aboard the ship were only due to be away for seven weeks when they went on a deployment exercise with other nations but that turned into seven months away from loved ones as they "were diverted to Libya and further operations."

Anyway here they all are in a lip-dubbed video of US singer Mariah Carey's version of "All I want for Christmas is you"; four minutes of fun and feel-good sing-a-long.

It has apparently already been featured on US breakfast time TV and a thrilled Carey tweeted the video and thanked the Royal Navy

And Carey's reaction? Well she's thrilled and said as much in a Tweet she sent to the Royal Navy.

"This is the best thing I've ever seen," she wrote. "You guys just made my day! Happy Happy Christmas!!! x0x0 to the troops."

Now here's a challenge. Can any of you - even the most curmudgeonly - not to at least raise a smile at some point during this video.

Ready?

Go on. you know you want to...join in.

Contrex mineral water - stripper commercial

2011-12-02T14:21:00.004+01:00

Sometimes a commercial just makes you sit up and pay attention, brings a smile to your face and stops you from popping off to do something else when the advertising break kicks in.

And occasionally it might just be a good deal more entertaining than the actual programme you were watching in the first place.

Such is surely the case of one spot currently running on French TV for the Contrex brand of mineral water.

It's a perfect fit between product and message with humour, entertainment and a great soundtrack - the music from "Comment te dire adieu", a song made famous in the 1960s by French singer Françoise Hardy.

It features women (and some men) "discovering" the joys of sport with them pedalling exercise bikes frantically and in the process lighting up a giant neon light male stripper.

The more they pedal the more he reveals until finally he's in the all together with just a board to cover his unmentionables, a board congratulating everyone for just having used 2,000 calories.

Some commercials are just inspired!

Anggun to represent France at 2012 Eurovision Song Contest.

2011-11-29T14:43:00.004+01:00

There has been no messing around by France in deciding who'll represent the country at the Eurovision Song Contest in 2012, that annual jamboree that brings together the very cheesiest of what Europe has to offer "musically" speaking.

France 3 television, which chooses the act every year - none of that ineffectual allowing the public to decide - has plumped for Indonesian-born singer Anggun.

Anggun (screenshot from television interview with LCI

The 37-year-old will carry the hopes of her adopted homeland when she takes to the stage in the final to be held on May 26 in Baku, the capital of Azerbaijan, that country well-known to be at the heart of Europe.

Get hold of a map to see just how far east of most of the rest of the continent it really is.

Azerbaijan won the right to stage next year's contest when it beat all the other entries at Eurovision 2011 with the never-to-be-remembered "Running Scared" by duo Eldar & Nigar (Eldar Gasimov and Nigar Jamal).

Anyway, back to Anggun, who's clearly as pleased as punch that she has been chosen.

"It's a wonderful present for someone like me who only became a naturalised French citizen in 2000," she told the national daily Aujourd'hui en France - Le Parisien.

"Without doubt I symbolise a modern-day France; a country that is a mix of races and cultures," she continued.

"When I was growing up the contest was always considered a bit tacky and rather old fashioned, but it's a great show and very important for many countries," she added.

"Secretly we all want to win. I'm going to shine for France."

Ho hum. Famous last words.

Choosing Anggun might well be considered strategically clever as she has had sizeable international success apparently.

You might not have heard of her, but plenty have according to her official website.

But the same sort of reasoning was behind the choice of Patricia Kaas when she sang the French entry in Moscow in 2009. Kaas only managed eighth place.

And then there was the fiasco that was such a "shitty finish" for last year's representative Amaury Vassili who for some inexplicable reason went into the competition as the bookmakers' favourite.

His dire "Sognu" could only manage a lowly 15th spot with a mighty 82 points.

Anggun, représentera "la France métissée d’aujourd’hui" à l’Eurovision

Anggun told LCI television that she knew the responsibility that lay on her shoulders was a "heavy one" especially as the last time France won the contest was back in 1977 when Marie Myriam sang "L'Oiseau Et L'Enfant".

And of the song she'll be singing?

"It hasn't been chosen yet," she told LCI television.

"It'll be one that has never released."

A purrfectly ridiculous Christmas present for your cat

2011-11-28T15:24:00.003+01:00

All right so it's obviously a marketing strategy; encourage pet owners - in this case those who have cats - to cough up hard-earned centimes for something that's packaged especially for Christmas.

But isn't an Advent Calendar for your furry four-legged friend taking things just a little too far?

An Advent Calendar for your cat

This one's currently available in a major chain of supermarkets throughout France, but of course they're not just in the shops.

Try a simple search on the Net and you'll come across any number of sites reminding us for example that, "Christmas is also for our family pets and this excellent Advent Calendar is a great way to share the excitement of the countdown to the festive season with your feline friends."

Puh-lease.

Goodwill to all creatures great and small all year round and not just during the festive season.

Nothing wrong in that.

But really.

An Advent Calendar to, "provide a little delicacy for your feline every day until Christmas."

Bah humbug!

Que pensez-vous?

Welcome back to Paris, Marks and Spencer

2011-11-28T11:27:00.005+01:00

It has been a decade since British retailer Marks and Spencer (M&S) quit France, shutting all of its 18 stores and firing 1,700 people.

In fact in 2001 M&S, under the then-chairmanship of Luc Van de Velde, closed all 38 of its European stores with the loss of 3,350 jobs across the continent.

Marks and Spencer reopening in Paris (screenshot from France 24 report)

Since last Friday though, they're back - in France at least - with the opening of a flagship store in the capital Paris at an address that has not gone unnoticed in the press; 100 Avenue des Champs-Élysées, "la plus belle avenue du monde" (the most beautiful avenue in the world" as the celebrated street is often called.

It opened its doors on November 24 choosing the location because it "wanted to find a prestigious address and return with a new image," as Michelle Lamberti, the company's marketing director is quoted as saying in the monthly women's magazine Marie Claire.

Although all those expat Brits - no matter how misty their memories or tenuous their ties with Blighty might have become - may have had high hopes of being able to get their hands on traditional British fare (yes there really is such a thing) they'll likely be disappointed by the reopening.

Because as the British daily The Guardian reports, the emphasis of the flagship store (there are another three scheduled to be opened in the Paris region) is most definitely not on food.

The grub is there but it's apparently squeezed into just 100 square metres of the store's 1,400 square metres of retail space.

The emphasis will be on clothing, a decision chief executive Marc Bolland defended as being a practical one.

"Let's be honest, nobody comes to the Champs Elysées to do their weekly shop," he told The Guardian.

Can't argue with that.

The company has also launched a French language website for anyone not able to make it to Paris.

Time to stock up on warm underwear and pullovers as France prepares for winter and a chance for a spot of stay-at-home Christmas shopping perhaps.

In any case, rebonjour Marks and Spencer.

Toutou rista - the Doggie Doo poop-scooping game in France

2011-11-24T12:03:00.003+01:00

Not sure how to keep the children entertained at Christmas?

Well family games manufacturer Goliath thinks it has the answer with the release in France of Toutou rista.

Toutou rista (screenshot from promotional video)

It's the French version of the same game launched on an unsuspecting German, Spanish and Dutch market last year.

In Germany, under the name of Kackel Dackel it was a huge hit with the promotional video going viral.

None the wiser?

Well perhaps the English name will give the game (sorry) away as it's also being released in the United Kingdom and The United States under the name of Doggie Doo.

It's a game which "aims to teach children how to take care of dogs with poop-scooping gameplay" and French toy industry magazine La revue du jouet named it best infant toy game in France for 2011.

"Feed and walk your little pup, when he makes a mess you clean it up," says the game's manufacturer, Goliath.

"The first player who has 3 pieces of dog mess on his shovel wins the game."

The rules are simple although they include the rather...er...worrying extra remark, "You can only pick up the dog’s mess when it has fallen on the table. When it is hanging outside the end of the dog, just tap him on the back until it drops."

Charming!

Enough said.

In memory of Silvio Berlusconi

2011-11-10T20:22:00.002+01:00

BNP Paribas - a bank without money

2011-11-10T10:57:00.005+01:00

So, this is the (true) story of a man (just for argument's sake let's call him Jean-Pierre) who tried to make a withdrawal from his bank but couldn't because, in the words of the clerk, "We don't actually have any money here."

The (in)action took place at one of the Courbevoie branches of BNP Paribas.

BNP Paribas (screenshot from commercial)

"The bank for a changing world" as it proudly boasts on its website, is "a European leader in global banking and financial services and one of the best rated banks in the world."

With over 2,000 branches in France it is the country's largest.

Courbevoie, in the northwestern suburbs of Paris and one of "the best places to live" (apparently) in the Île-de-France region which comprises the capital and the surrounding metropolitan area, isn't actually Jean-Pierre's home.

It's where he spends his weekdays as he works in Paris, returning to his home in the southwest of France for the weekends.

And it's in the southwest that, just over a year ago, he opened an account with BNP because, well to be quite frank, it offered the best terms.

He needed a loan for renovation work and the local branch manager was only too willing to offer him one at a good rate and without requiring him to move his main account from a competitor bank, Crédit agricole.

Jean-Pierre's salary continued to be paid on to his Crédit agricole account in Courbevoie for which he had an ATM card but he made sure he had more than enough on both his current and savings account at the BNP to cover any emergencies that might crop up.

It was, in a sense, an account purely meant to meet expenses to his main home: although he had a cheque book, he didn't have an ATM card.

"You don't really need one if you're not going to make withdrawals," the manager had told him when he had opened it.

"And besides if you do need money at any time, you can just drop into any of our branches throughout the country and get some."

Excellent, thought Jean-Pierre at the time. "It's not an account I'm going to be using that much. My main one is with Crédit agricole and I don't have to meet the costs of having a card I'm not going to need."

Oh yes he was - and still is - a frugal man.

Except, as you've already grasped, that's not exactly how it all worked out.

Because when Jean-Pierre went along to a Courbevoie branch of BNP this week to take out some money he needed to make a cash payment (with receipt - it has to be added) he was informed politely that, "Sorry we cannot give you anything. We don't actually have any money here."

A bank without money? Now that was something novel.

Well maybe not in these cash-strapped times.

There then followed one of those almost surreal conversations during which the clerk said that if Jean-Pierre had been a client of that particular branch then he could have requested an ATM card allowing him to make an on-the-spot withdrawal.

That would have taken time, money and paperwork, and anyway wasn't really a solution to his immediate needs.

"What about the other branches in Courbevoie?" Jean-Pierre asked, knowing there were at least two more close by.

"Do they have any...er...money?"

He tried hard not to snort with incredulity at the preposterous nature of his question.

"No, they don't," was the response."

"Your best bet, if you need some cash immediately, is to try to find a BNP branch in Paris that has some. I'm sure there is one. I just don't know where it is."

Now that's the kind of sound financial advice anyone wants to hear from their bank.

So dumbfounded, Jean-Pierre left and headed straight to the nearest branch of Credit Agricole - where - what do you know - they actually did have cash on the premises.

The end.

Did Sarkozy really spend €37,000 a night on his G20 hotel room? No!

2011-11-08T14:55:00.003+01:00

"As world teeters on the brink, can leaders enjoy €1m of hospitality? Yes they Cannes" screamed the headline to a story in that bastion of journalistic accuracy The Sun last week.

Majestic hotel, Cannes (screenshot from YouTube video)

The paper was beside itself and in apoplectic full flow over the amount of money some world leaders had spent on accommodation, "gourmet meals and fine wine" during the G20 summit held in the southern French city of Cannes.

And according to the paper the biggest culprit, in terms of the amount he had spent on a place to rest his head for two nights, was none other than the host to the whole shebang, the French president Nicolas Sarkozy.

In the piece readers learned that the former master of Bling Bling had forked out an "eyewatering" £32,000 or around €37,000 a night for "the Presidential Suite at the five-star Majestic Hotel".

What a scandal, especially in these times of belt-tightening austerity, and the comments from Sun readers were suitably outraged.

Except it's not true, according to both Franck Louvrier, a spokesman for the French president's office, and the hotel itself.

You see, the French national daily Le Monde actually took the time to check on the veracity of the claim and provided evidence to back up what it had found.

It's a clever technique that surely still has its place in reporting called "backing a story up" with evidence or "attributing" it.

"The information is false," Louvrier told Le Monde.

"The actual cost was ten times less even though there are suites at that price."

There are indeed, as the hotel confirmed; one at €30,000 a night and another at €38,000.

But Sarkozy wasn't in either of them and instead had been in a room which typically cost between €1,500 and €3,000 a night.

The Majestic was too discreet to mention which room in particular Sarkozy had stayed but it did confirm that the bill for his two-night stay had been between €6,000 and €7,000.

So there you have it. Perhaps The Sun article slapped on an extra "zero" - by mistake.

And what does it say for the rest of the claimed expenses and accompanying graphics?

French presidential election 2012 - who has the most sex appeal?

2011-11-07T17:43:00.008+01:00

Monday morning madness - from France. Stories that should bring a smile to your face and help you get the week off to a great start.

Anybody in this country who follows politics - or doesn't for that matter - will know just how much the French love their opinion polls.

Barely a week seems to go by without TNS Sofres, OpinionWay, Ipsos and the like telling us that, for example, Sarkozy's popularity is at an all-time low/stagnant/on the up. Or the Socialist party's presidential candidate François Hollande would win an election if it were held next Sunday (useful that). Maybe it's one showing the frightening level of support there is for the Front National's Marine LaPen.

And so on and so forth.

It's not entirely unexpected perhaps given that both presidential and legislative elections are due in France next year.

But a recent opinion poll conducted by Harris takes rather a...well...different slant on all things political.

Not surprising really as it was commissioned by the (A, B, C and D-list) celebrity weekly magazine Closer - not exactly known for its grasp of political affairs.

The questions?

Well they were along the lines of "Which of the male pretenders - both declared and, in some cases, no longer in the running - would you most like to spend the night with?" Or "With whom would you like to spend your life?" And "Which one makes you fantasise the most?"

Yes they really were that banal.

Just for the record the "winner" in each category was the Socialist party parliamentarian and former candidate in the party's primary, Arnaud Montebourg.

Arnaud Montebourg (from Wikipedia)

Runner up was fellow Socialist party politician who as also a candidate in the primary; Manuel Valls.

Both men are 49 - so perhaps youth played a factor!

The incumbent limped in third - still ahead of MoDem's François Bayrou and Hollande.

When the question was turned around to discover which female candidate (again both declared and no longer in the running) was the one most men would fantasise over...well guess who came out top!

Here's a clue. She was an also-ran in the very same Socialist party primary as Hollande, Montebourg and Valls, has four children by one of them, is NOT the mayor of Lille AND was the party's candidate in the 2007 presidential elections.

For the complete poll - and remember it's definitely not to be taken seriously - scoot over to Closer and discover, among other things, the presidential candidate seen as the most "show biz" (no prizes for guessing), the women who would make the best first lady and how much the the arrival of Giulia "moved" potential voters.

Now, who would you...no perhaps it's a question better left unasked.

Friday's French music break - Sankofa Unit, "Let's dance"

2011-11-04T15:00:00.003+01:00

Friday's French music break this week is not from a group in perhaps the recognised sense of the word, but a choir comprising people who can sing. Heck can they sing!

Sankofa Unit

It's the Sankofa Unit, an "urban choir" which has evolved from past participants of the Sankofa Soul Contest a kind of springboard for soul, blues, jazz and gospel talent in France.

Directed by Joby Smith, they've just made an appearance on "La France a un incroyable talent" this country's version of the "Got talent" franchise and, to say the very least, their performance was electrifying.

The show's three judges, Gilbert Rozon, Sophie Edelstein and Dave, were completely blown away as were most of the audience and Sankofa Unit look like a dead cert to be chosen to appear in the semi-finals later in November.

Whether they'll actually win the whole kaboodle is, perhaps, irrelevant, although it would certainly be a financial boost to the 40-strong company.

What's more important though is the national exposure they've already had courtesy of appearing on M6 and the likely impact that'll have on their individual and collective careers.

Here's a live performance you can find on YouTube of the very same song that rocked television sets on Wednesday evening.

The sheer enthusiasm and obvious pleasure they all seem to get from singing is totally infectious and the sound...well it's just uplifting.

Check out their Facebook page for more info.

In the meantime - enjoy.

CNN reports from G20 in Cannes - Spain!

2011-11-04T11:15:00.003+01:00

All right a question to all Americans reading this.

How good is your knowledge of European geography?

Hopefully a little (or should that be a lot) better than someone over at CNN, the US cable news channel with of course its well-known international counterpart.

The channel has deployed, what the French weekly news magazine Le Point calls, "its usual army of journalists and technicians" to cover the G20 summit.

You know, the talkathon currently taking place in Cannes - hosted by the French president, Nicolas Sarkozy with guest of honour his US counterpart Barack Obama.

The two men are to appear in a 15-minute pre-recorded interview on prime time news in France on Friday evening - apparently more than enough time to cover all the world's issues and any questions on re-election they might both face next year. But that's an aside.

Er - so where were we? Oh yes - G20 summit, Cannes on the French Riviera and ergo in France...well not quite it appears.

Because someone back home at CNN HQ responsible for putting together world maps managed to place the city, world famous for its annual film festival, not just several hundred kilometres away but in a completely different country - Spain to be precise.

Now we all know that Americans can have a rather - how to put this politely? - tainted view of the world, geographically speaking but really!

The blunder didn't go unnoticed on the Net of course with comments ranging from "CNN exclusive - northern Spain has been ceded to France" to the suggestion that "when the US invades Iran, best make sure that CNN are not embedded with the military."

Click here to see one of many images of CNN's latest take on European geography.

Paris apartment rip-off - 3m2 for €29,000!

2011-11-03T10:09:00.004+01:00

Thinking about buying an apartment in Paris? Here's one that's definitely worth avoiding.

A three square metre Paris apartment for €29,000 (screenshot from De Particulier à Particulier advertisement)

Property prices in Paris and its immediate suburbs have stood up well to the general economic downturn.

Although there has been a slowdown in the increase in recent months, it's still hard to find a bargain of any sort with two-room apartments being especially sought after.

Studios for the capital's large student population are also at a premium, a factor which has not gone unnoticed by what can only be described as one money-grabbing vendor.

In what the French men's magazine website Gentside describes as being "surely nothing more than a scam" an apartment measuring just three square metres is on sale in the French capital for the princely sum of €29,000!

Maybe a few extra exclamation marks should be added - here goes.

!!!!!!!!!!

Now let's get this straight - three square metres in estate agency speak in France doesn't even usually count as being big enough for a room (the minimum norm is nine square metres).

So what do you get for your money - apart from not even enough space for a bed let alone to swing the proverbial?

Well according to the ad' which appears in the weekly French magazine De Particulier à Particulier for those wishing to buy and sell privately without going through an estate agent, there's an electric radiator and a meter - presumably to tot up just how much heating and lighting the future purchaser will have to shell out.

There's also the possibility to install a skyligh,t although permission will have to be gained first from the syndic or the organisation comprising other apartment owners in the building.

Shared loo and washing facilities are also a feature of the "space" described as being "ideal for residential purposes or archive material" but at least it's in perfect condition and in a totally quiet location.

More exclamation marks please.

!!!!!!!!!!

Extra costs include property taxes (around €36 a year) and monthly maintenance costs of €2.

And before you rush out to make an offer, don't forget to factor in the initial and obligatory costs of going through a notaire (around €240 for a property on sale at the advertised price).

Outrageous and a rip off most certainly - and let's just hope nobody is foolish enough to buy it.

Ukraine's stray dogs - a victim of Euro 2012

2011-10-31T14:20:00.006+01:00

Football fans will know that next year sees the finals of Euro 2012.

It's a footballing feast held every four years and a showcase for the Beautiful Game in Europe.

This time around it's being hosted jointly, by Poland and Ukraine, who together with 14 other countries will take part in the tournament.

Millions of television viewers will doubtless be glued to their screens from the kick off in the Polish capital Warsaw on June 8 to the final in the Ukraine capital Kiev on July 1.

Concerns have been voiced over the past couple of years by Uefa (Union of European Football Associations) - the game's governing body in Europe - especially about the infrastructure and progress of the scheduled venues in both countries.

But the marketing and promotion machine is now in full swing and everything looks set to kick off as scheduled.

Except in all the hullabaloo and spin in the run up to the tournament, there's one subject that hasn't been getting so much media coverage: how Ukraine is going about the job of getting rid of its stray dog problem.

Stray dog in Ukraine (screenshot from RT report)

And it is a huge issue as Russian-based RT television news recently reported.

With "tens of thousands of animals roaming the streets of the country's cities" Ukraine's stray dog population presents a health risk. People are apparently being bitten regularly and there's the risk of infection.

The solution as far as the authorities are concerned has been to "remove, kill and burn stray dogs in a mobile crematorium".

But the methods used have apparently outraged animal rights activists in Ukraine who deem the practice cruel and claim that some of the animals are still alive when they're being burnt.

They've been gathering signatures in an online petition for some time now in an effort to bring wider attention to the way in which authorities have been going about the clean-up campaign and to urge former French international and current Uefa president Michel Platini to use his influence.

And last week they were joined by the French animal charity Fondation 30 millions d'amis.

"Is the killing of thousands of animals in the most squalid conditions in keeping with the image of a world class sporting event?" asks the Fondation on it website.

The answer, as far as the charity is concerned, is clearly "no" and it has launched its own petition in an open letter to both Platini and the Ukranian president Viktor Yanukovych.

It's demanding that a stop be put to the "massacre" and a suitable sterilisation, transportation and rehoming programme be set up.

Watch the RT clip (the presenter warns that the images might be disturbing) and see what you think.

While there's little or no likelihood that Ukraine will be stripped from hosting Euro 2012 - as some animal rights activist have called for - perhaps it can be discouraged from destroying stray dogs in the way it has been doing recently.

Europe...according to bigots

2011-10-28T13:58:00.011+02:00

Now this should make you smile.

The maps reproduced here are a timely reminder, given the state of the Eurozone and the protracted attempts to deal with the debt crisis, of just how much we all generalise about the characteristics of other countries.

Europe according to France (creative commons: alphadesigner)

They're the work of Bulgarian-born graphic designer Yanko Tsvetkov who uses the pseudonym alphadesigner because, as he says, "that usually makes people think what I do is really important. That's why I chose it."

Europe according to France, Germany, Britain, the United States and others are part of the appropriately entitled project which has produced Mapping Sterotypes, the ultimate bigot's calendar of Europe.

Of course they're purely satirical and rely on clichés and stereotypes.

But isn't there also a revealing element of truth in showing us how ignorant and intolerant we often are of one another?

It helps if you know your European geography a bit...er...on the other hand, perhaps it doesn't matter a jot.

The 2012 calendar is available online now, although sadly it doesn't include Berlusconi's "vision" but there again you could alway order that as a tee-shirt, mug or poster.

Take a look at alphadesigner's site. Who knows, you might even find the ideal (dare it be said) Christmas present for your (least) favourite bigot.

Europe according to Britain

Europe according to Britain (creative commons: alphadesigner)

Europe according to the USA

Europe according to the United States (creative commons: alphadesigner)

Europe according to Spain

Europe according to Spain (creative commons: alphadesigner)

Europe according to Germany

Europe according to Germany (creative commons: alphadesigner)

Europe according to Greece

Europe according to Greece (creative commons: alphadesigner)

And finally, Europe according to Berlusconi

Europe according to Berlusconi (creative commons: alphadesigner)

Marion Cotillard's public breastfeeding "incident"

2011-10-26T11:39:00.004+02:00

It's apparently a story that "shocked" diners at the restaurant of the Chateau Marmont Hotel in West Hollywood recently and was clearly enough of a "scandal" (inverted commas required) to make the pages of the weekly US tabloid The National Enquirer.

Marion Cotillard (from Wikipedia)

French Oscar-winning actress Marion Cotillard was spotted breastfeeding her five-month-old son Marcel in public!

Yes, sit down for a moment. Gather your wits about you and take a deep breath. It's as bad as that.

The "incident" is hard to confirm from this side of the Pond because access to The National Enquirer's site sadly (ahem) isn't available in France.

But according to the weekly French celebrity gossip magazine Closer, its US equivalent is running with the story that once again has "Americans shocked".

And it's almost as much almost of a faux pas (although that might just be Closer taking a tongue-in-cheek approach to The National Enquirer piece) as the 36-year-old's questioning in an interview of the official explanation of the September 11 terrorist attacks; an interview that had taken place before but was republished shortly after she received her Oscar for Best Actress in the film "La Môme" (La vie en rose) in 2007.

A witness, shocked by Cotillard's recent "revelation" apparently described to The National Enquirer how the French actress took Marcel in her arms when he began crying and thinking nobody was watching, "Opened her blouse to expose her right breast to allow him to feed."

Yes, terrible isn't it?

"When she noticed that everyone was apparently looking she asked the nanny for a blanket to cover Marcel and her breast," the witness added.

Just as well perhaps that US socialite and reality TV star Kim Kardashian wasn't around at the time.

In 2010 the 31-year-old reportedly got all of a Twitter about a woman she had seen breastfeeding in public.

Seriously though, shouldn't the headline to Closer's story and that of The National Enquirer have read something along the lines of "French actress Marion Cotillard seen breastfeeding in public. So what! (Or Hooray!)

Next (story) please.

Sex on legs - "Tanguera" is back in Paris

2011-10-19T12:09:00.004+02:00

Once again Parisian audiences are being treated to the exhaustingly energetic but sublimely sensual "Tanguera" playing at the Théâtre du Châtelet.

It's a musical but told in dance - the Tango of course.

Tanguera (screenshot from trailer)

And what makes it especially compelling is how it manages to tell the history of its own roots by going back to its beginnings (of course) and at the same time combining it with a love story typical for any era, but that was very much part of the milieu in which the Tango was born.

Set in the poor quarter of Boca in Buenos Aires at the end of the 19th century, Tanguera tracks the tale of Giselle, a young woman from France, who has recently arrived as part of the wave of immigration from Europe to South America at the time.

She cannot find legitimate work and gets drawn into prostitution under the "comforting arm" of Gaudencio, a gangster, pimp and drug trafficker.

From prostitution she moves into the seedy world of cabaret, controlled by Gaudencio, and discovers the Tango. It becomes her drug almost, and she in return becomes a star of the scene, quickly attracting the attention of the virtuous Lorenzo, a docker.

He of course at the end finally takes his courage in his hands and challenges Gaudencio to a fight, where the two men slug it out in mortal combat - all for the love of a woman.

Directed by Omar Pacheco, the choreography of Mora Godoy is phenomenal.

The dancers who keep the action flowing are seductive and sensual without being vulgar. There's a vibrancy, energy and speed that leaves the audience feeling just as exhausted as surely the dancers must be by the end.

Eat your heart out "Danse avec les stars".

"Tanguera" is just under two hours of electrifying moves and wonderful music combined with a choreography that'll leave even the most heavy-footed member of the public panting for more and almost ready to throw all caution to the wind and run on to the stage to be part of the performance.

All right, perhaps not. After all it would be hard (and probably painful) to even attempt to replicate what the ensemble sf capable of.

"Tanguera" draws you in, keeps you transfixed and, simply put, it's sex on legs. Not to be missed if you're planning a visit to the French capital.

So if you didn't catch "Tanguera" when it was last performed back in Paris in 2008, then now's your chance.

It runs at the Théâtre du Châtelet from October 15 - November 2 and there are still seat available!

Georges Brassens remembered

2011-10-17T13:47:00.005+02:00

October 29 marks the 30th anniversary of the death of Georges Brassens.

Georges Brassens (from Wikipedia)

He was, and remains, arguably one of France's most admired post World War II poets and songwriters and is described by Radio France Internationale (RFI) as, "One of the most important figures in French musical history."

Brassens' lyricism isn't easy to translate - successfully.

It has been done, but there's a wordplay, rhythm and rhyme that renders the task difficult.

But he's unquestionably well worth a listen to (in the original) for the sheer nuance of language and his obvious mastery of French.

Plus understanding Brassens and his place within the hearts of many French might go some way to appreciating what makes this country and its people tick.

"If you [want to] love my country, you should use Brassens as a travel guide,” comic book creator and film director Joann Sfar told RFI in an interview during the exhibition "Brassens ou la liberté" at Cité de la Musique in Paris over the summer, at which he was co-curator .

"Brassens is the guy that can have you love that country despite what that country is."

For anyone interested in discovering why he's considered by many French to be such an icon, there's a Festival Georges Bressans taking place in Charente November 10-13.

And on October 19, France 2 will be broadcasting the made-for-television film "La Mauvaise réputation" on Bressans' early years.

Michel Hazanavicius' "The Artist" - a film to see

2011-10-17T10:00:00.003+02:00

If there's one film - just one single film - you should absolutely go to see this year it has to be "The Artist".

(screenshot "The Artist" trailer)

French critics have been heaping praise on it ever since it premiered at the Cannes film festival in May when Jean Dujardin took home the award for Best Actor.

Director Michel Hazanavicius' idea might seem completely potty.

At a time when 3D is all the rage, special FX, music, BIG Hollywood names, colour, the kitchen sink - you name it - are all part of what supposedly tickles the fancy of film-goers, what does the 44-year-old director, screenwriter and producer come up with?

A film in black and white of course - and a silent one to boot!

Hazanavicius apparently had the idea of making a black and white silent movie as far back as the early 90s but couldn't get the funding together.

It wasn't until after the success in France of his two spy spoof movies "OSS 117: Le Caire nid d'espions" ("OSS 117: Cairo, Nest of Spies") in 2006 and "OSS 117: Rio Ne Répond Plus" ("OSS 117: Lost in Rio") in 2009, both of which starred Dujardin, that Hazanavicius sent the script of "The Artist" to the producer Thomas Langmann, who managed to get together a €10 million budget.

The film was shot at Warner Studios in Los Angeles in just 35 days, a feat which Hazanavicius admits, didn't really give him a chance to appreciate fully exactly how "mythical" the setting was.

"It was very short and I didn't have the time to be clear about where I was," he said.

"I had to keep to a very tight schedule and convince those working on the film to adapt to the French method of movie making."

The result? A romantic comedy described as "A pastiche…but lovingly made and extremely watchable," by Screen International.

Jean Dujardin (screenshot "The Artist" trailer)

Its storyline perhaps isn't entirely original: George Valentin (Dujardin) a star of silent movies in the late 1920s at a time when talkies are the future meets young actress Peppy Miller (played by Hazanavicius' wife, Bérénice Bejo) looking for her big break. As Valentin's star wanes, so Miller's rises.

(screenshot "The Artist" trailer)

But - and it's a big but - there's emotion, passion, music, dance, wonderful cinematography (yes it's possible in black and white) more than a few nods to classic Hollywood films that should keep any cinephile happy and, and and...oh yes a dog in the shape of Jack (played by Jack Russell Uggy who also won an award at Cannes - the Palm Dog).

"The Artist" opened in France October 12 and there are rumblings that it won't just be entered into that also-ran Best Foreign Language Film category at the Oscars next year - but will be in the main competition for the proper gongs.

So here's a word of advice - go see it.

Enjoy - and hey....even if you don't speak a word of French, it'll likely be the first film from this country that you'll sit through and be able to understand in its entirety.

French motorist fined 143 times - for the same offence

2011-10-15T10:21:00.007+02:00

In France motorists are required to carry a warning triangle in their car - just in case they break down of course.

It has been the law since July 1, 2008

So woe betide any driver stopped by the police and discovered not to have one somewhere in the vehicle.

A €90 fine can, and in all probability will, be issued, with the letter arriving in the post a couple of days.

And that's what one motorist from the town of Capbreton in the southwest of France expected after he returned from holiday, knowing that he had been stopped and found to be driving at the end of September without the required warning triangle shortly before leaving.

A letterbox stuffed full of fines (screenshot TF1 news report)

Except Gilles Rocher got more than he bargained for when he opened his letter box because he had been sent not just one, but 143 fines for the very same infraction - amounting to the princely sum of €12,870.

"I had fully expected a fine as I had been told I would be sent one," he told TF1 news.

"But surprise! Instead of just the one, I received 143 each with a different number meaning that I had apparently broken the law not just once but 143 times."

Worse still, he somehow had to find the money to pay the fine - or should that be fines - within 15 days or risk a penalty charge being levied.

When he rang the hotline of Le Centre Automatisé de Constatation des Infractions (CACIR) to find out what he should do, his story was met with a certain incredulity and the best advice he was offered was to contest each of the fines individually in writing - and by recorded delivery.

143 fines for one infraction (screenshot TF1 news report)

Fat lot of help that was.

But thankfully the camera crews were around and journalists were on to the story.

A call to the interior ministry brought a response from one of its spokesmen, Pierre-Henry Brandet.

"If it becomes apparent that there has been a bug in the system, as seems to be the case, then the tickets will be immediately cancelled and there'll be no need to pay," he said.

"It's a regrettable incident but one which remains anecdotal."

Not for poor Gilles perhaps, who must have had the shock of his life

But the following day, as the regional daily, Sud Ouest reported, everything had been resolved.

All 143 fines had been annulled - including the original one.

Friday's French music break - Magic System, "La danse des magiciens"

2011-10-14T10:59:00.004+02:00

Friday's French music break this week is by a group from Côte d'Ivoire that have made quite an impression in recent years on this country's charts and, just as importantly, its dance floors.

Magic System (screenshot from "La danse des magiciens")

Magic System's "La danse des magiciens" will likely have you pumpin' and a groovin' no matter what your age.

It's the third track to be released from their latest album "Toutè kalé (to date they've released six) and proof once again that the quartet can churn out tunes that make you wish you were still young enough to "shake your stiff" (sic) (some of you might still be).

They formed back in 1994 when they were an eight-piece set up (having come from an even larger group of apparently more than 50 members)

But even with (just) eight members, according to their website, the group was just too large for any producer to be interested in signing them and three years later they split in half.

While A’salfo (Salif Traoré) , Manadja (Adama Fanny), Tino (Étienne Boué Bi) et Goudé (Narcisse Sadoua) kept the name Magic system, the four others (now down to three) formed the group Les Marabouts.

They've never had the same crossover success as Magic System, but they're still worth listening to.

Anyway, back to Magic System. They've become synonymous with Zouglou, dance music from Côte d'Ivoire which has apparently proven to be a form of expression for the country's youth to describe the problems they have and the "ills of society": the Ivorian equivalent of rap perhaps.

That might well have been how the group started and was received back home, but once they made it big in France with the 2002 single "Premier gaou" commercial appeal seemed to be the key to success and the hits...well, they just kept-a-comin'.

Among them were "Bouger bouger" in 2005, "Ki Dit Mié" in 2007, "Zouglou dance" in 2008.

The latest in a long line of dancefloor hits, "La danse des magiciens" is nothing outrageously innovative and very produced - perhaps overly so.

The lyrics? Well they're an exhortation to dance - Zouglou style: quite rightly not exactly Pulitzer prize-winning material. but enjoyable, fun...and man, it makes you wanna move!

UK couple scoop EuroMillions jackpot but where's September's French winner?

2011-10-12T11:53:00.007+02:00

A British couple were the winners of last Friday's Euromillions draw picking up a cool £101 million or €115 million.

(screenshot from EuroMillions commercial)

But in France there's still a mystery surrounding an even bigger jackpot "won" almost a month ago.

That's because nobody has stepped forward to make a claim for the €162 million for five correct numbers plus the two lucky stars in the September 13 draw.

The operator of the lottery in France, La Française des Jeux (FDJ), apparently has still had no news from the claimant and will only issue a statement once the winner has stepped forward and then "only in accordance with his or her wishes."

The winning ticket was apparently bought in the northwestern département of Calvados.

Yes the very same area known for its apple brandy, which might give a clue as to why nobody has yet made a claim.

And let's face it, the amount is hardly inconsiderable.

Should the winner eventually be identified he/she or they would have the 250th largest fortune in France.

But hey, who's counting centimes here?

It's not the first time someone has been in less than a hurry to pick up an enormous lottery cheque in France.

As Le Parisien reports, right now FDJ is waiting for the winner of €8 million in the national lottery draw from August 13 to make his or her claim.

Time is running out though as FDJ has rules about how long a jackpot can remain unclaimed and the deadline is October 12 at one minute to midnight.

As for the Euromillions winner from Calvados - well the deadline for making a claim is November 12.

EuroMillions ticket - sadly not a winner

Just for the record, those numbers for the September 13 draw in case you haven't already checked were - and still are - 9, 28, 30, 32, 49 and the two lucky stars 9 and 10 (you can check them out here)

EuroMillions is a transnational lottery incorporating national operators in nine European countries: Austria, Belgium, France, Ireland, Luxembourg, Portugal, Spain, Switzerland and the United Kingdom.

Friday's French music break - Claire Denamur, "Bang bang bang"

2011-10-07T13:55:00.004+02:00

Friday's French music break this week has more than a hint of the US to it

Claire Denamur's "Bang bang bang" features an hypnotic twanging guitar, a country music-influenced rhythm and a simple, catchy chorus, which should all go a fair way to making it a hit.

Claire Denamur (screenshot from official clip)

Even before its release it had been receiving a fair amount of airplay, and should get something of a boost when the recording Denamur made for the television music show Taratata is broadcast in October.

The 27-year-old apparently spent a chunk of her childhood in the States and that has heavily influenced her music and style described as, "characterised by very text-based gender relations and intimate country folk acoustic music sung with a slightly rough and ready - or 'broken' - voice."

Of the quality of her voice, she's quoted as saying in a recent article about her music in the national daily Libération, "It's that of a heavy smoker who knows the joys of bourbon!"

And that's not too far off the mark.

Distinctive? Yes.

Unpleasant? Most definitely not.

And very Blues.

Plus she write her own material which has to be the mark of a true "artiste" doesn't it?

"Bang, Bang, Bang" is the first track to be released from her second album "Vagabonde" - also well worth a listen.

Check out a review of that album on the French radio station France Inter and zap over to her official website for concert dates.

In the meantime, here's "Bang, bang, bang".

Cool video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Da5e1ni2MzE&ob=av2n

Socialist party primaries - first round on Sunday

2011-10-07T11:19:00.003+02:00

So the talking's over and the first round of voting is scheduled for this Sunday.

Yep, it's the Socialist party primaries, open to anyone - as long as they're a French citizen of course - who's on the electoral register, willing to cough up €1 and sign a pledge "recognising the values of the Left".

Socialist party primaries - televised debate (screenshot BFM TV)

Anyone interested in French politics will surely have found the three separate televised debates between the six candidates an interesting and possibly stimulating exercise; getting to know them, where they stand, what differentiates them from one another and so on.

What's more, they all managed to behave in a reasonable manner (for politicians) foregoing the backstabbing that was so prevalent in 2007 and appearing, on the surface at least, to be cordial.

Heck even the country's prime minister, François Fillon, seemed to have been impressed, maybe wishing that the centre-right Union pour un Mouvement Populaire, had someone else to offer (namely himself) other than the incumbent.

Fillon certainly seems to think it's the way forward in future elections.

Anyway, here's a very short and totally unbiased (ha ha) rundown of the six contenders.

Who knows.

One of them might well be a name you'll have to learn to get to know after May 2012.

François Hollande - widely admired among journalists (oh well, that's all right then) and apparently bright with a great sense of humour. Did nothing for a decade as leader of the party - except help Lionel Jospin and (his then-partner) Ségolène Royal lose in their respective presidential campaigns. One factor in his favour - Fadela Amara is (or at least was) a fan.

Martine Aubry - along with Hollande is the other favourite to make it through to the second round run-off. Seen by some (many) as a stand-in for Dominique Strauss-Kahn. Popular among party activists (apparently) although her election as leader was rather contested. Perhaps it's her destiny to fulfil what her father (Jacques Delors) ducked out of doing.

Manuel Valls - too young (48) born in Barcelona (Ahem, the French seem to have no problem with a foreign-born candidate) too Blairish probably but clearly gunning for the interior ministry should the Socialist party win next year's presidential elections.

Arnaud Montebourg - similarly too young (48) and too radical. Big on anti-globalisation, very principled but probably too far to the Left to have a mass appeal.

Jean-Michel Baylet - very pro-Europe, level-headed and seems to speak a lot of sense, but an outsider - so much so that the Beeb doesn't even have a profile of him on its short description of the six-strong field.

Which leaves Ségolène Royal. Gotta love her. She's a political animal through and through and in touch with "the people" (well so she keeps insisting). Appears bonkers at times, but always, at least...er entertaining. Maybe that's the best the French can wish or hope for from her.

The expected run-off on Sunday week will be between those finishing first and second this weekend.

Babu - just an ordinary hero

2011-10-06T11:58:00.008+02:00

When it was first reported, the story of a man dying on the Paris métro system didn't make much of an impact on headline writers in France.

Photo of Rajinder Singh - "Babu" (snapshot from TF1 news report)

He had apparently been pushed on to the track and been electrocuted.

It's the kind of story you hear about from time to time - one of those news items that probably tends to wash over you as "oh just another story".

Except behind the headline of course was much more, as the daily Le Parisien revealed in a tribute it paid to Rajinder Singh, the man known by his nearest and dearest (and the rest of us now) as "Babu".

The 33-year-old Indian immigrant was reportedly travelling on the métro when he saw a pickpocket try to steal a mobile 'phone from a fellow passenger.

Babu intervened, coming to the woman's assistance , apparently asking the man to "leave her alone."

But a struggle then followed and continued as the train pulled into the next stop.

The two men got off and the pickpocket began punching Babu, finally pushing him off the platform and running away.

Babu was electrocuted.

And there the story might have ended, except for the reaction to a profile of Babu which Le Parisien ran the day after the incident.

It was a simple tribute to a man born in the Punjab region of India who had come to France seven years ago to "be able to work to send money home to his family and give them a better life," as one of his cousins told the newspaper.

Apparently a gentle man, opposed to violence of any sort, Babu was described by one of his friends as "goodness personified".

Babu's family wanted his body returned to India, but couldn't afford it.

Internet messages of support (snapshot from TF1 news report)

Babu's death - one which Le Parisien said left no one indifferent - provoked what TF1 news called "an astounding show of solidarity," with messages on the Internet and his brother-in-law Jean-Louis Lecomte, receiving 'phone calls of support and letters of donation.

On Wednesday a minute's silence was held at the station where Babu had died with the minister of transport, Thierry Mariani, and the minister of culture, Frédéric Mitterrand among those paying homage.

RATP, the public transport operator for the Paris region, has agreed to meet the costs of repatriating Babu's body.

Police have arrested a man they suspect of being the pickpocket who pushed Babu to his death.

Hommage poignant à "Babu", héros du métro

Friday's French music break - Joyce Jonathan, "Les souvenirs"

2011-09-30T16:21:00.003+02:00

Friday's French music break this week is from a young singer with the sweetest of voices.

Joyce Jonathan (screenshot from official clip for "Je ne sais pas")

Joyce Jonathan's "Les souvenirs" is from her debut platinum album released last year "Sur mes gardes" and although it has never been released as a single, has recently received quite a bit of media attention.

That's largely down to a television reality show, L'amour est dans le pré - the French equivalent of Farmer wants a wife.

In the last series one of the farmers "looking for love" played Jonathan's song in the hopes of wooing his heart's desire.

It didn't work, but the moment was magic and touching (well soppy would perhaps be more appropriate) and Jonathan herself was surprised the track had made such an impact with viewers.

"I didn't see the programme when it was first broadcast because I was performing. But my sister called me and to be quite honest I was thrilled that the song had been used in the show," she said.

"I had no idea Jean-Michel (the farmer) listened to my music," Jonathan continued, giving the game away perhaps that although coming to the end of a 100-date tour, she, like many French, had tuned in regularly to see the latest ups and downs of those lonely hearts looking for love on the farm.

"It's also obvious that he must have listened to the whole album as the track has never been released as a single," she added.

"I don't know whether the song helped him in his attempts to court Nathalie (it didn't) but I'm happy it was part of his story.

The 21-year-old is one of those acts that owes her rising popularity to, first Myspace, and later the fan-funded music label My Major Company, which gives everyone the chance to invest in up-and-coming artists.

Her voice is clear and delightful. Her style is folk-pop, so very much up-to-the-minute in what's popular.

And "Les souvenirs"?

Well it's pretty enough, but perhaps the lyrics were a little too slushy and lovey-dovey for Nathalie (remember the woman who rejected Jean-Michel's advances).

Take a listen.

What do you think?

Friday's French music break - Jean-Louis Aubert, "Roc éclair"

2011-09-23T10:00:00.002+02:00

Friday's French music break this week isn't just one song. It's an entire album.

Little surprise really as Jean-Louis Aubert's "Roc éclair" is just sublime.

Jean-Louis Aubert (screenshot from appearance on France 2's On n'est pas couché)

You could choose any track from the album released in 2010 and lose yourself in both the poetry of the lyrics and the magic of the music.

Aubert is perhaps something of an acquired taste as, if you were being unkind, you might describe his voice as being one only a mother could love - and then only if she were tone deaf!

It's not true though and it hasn't stopped Jean-Louis Aubert from success over the years because, and it has to be admitted, there's a quality to his singing and songs that just...well fits.

His voice is typically French, if you will, in that it's not quite in tune but somehow is at the same time - entirely appropriate for a rocker.

Add to that the fact that he can write a pretty fair tune and compose poetical lyrics, and you'll understand why he has had such a long and successful career.

Now those of you of a certain age and with an interest in French music might just be familiar with the name.

Aubert was the front man for Téléphone, the French rock group formed in the 1970s and whose many, many hits included "Ça c'est vraiment toi", "Un autre monde", "New York avec toi", "La bombe humaine", "Cendrillon" and the list continues.

Téléphone were enormous in France and helped shape, what was until their arrival in 1976, a pretty non-existant home-grown rock scene.

They split in 1986.

But back to Aubert and the album "Roc éclair".

It was written and recorded last year after the death of his father.

"When I write, it comes almost automatically," he says on his official website.

"But this album was really special; as if I were looking over my shoulder as I wrote," he continues.

"I had also lost several close friends and even though I wasn't depressed or in the doldrums I cried a lot.

"I felt some very deep emotions, including joy and that's the meaning in the title of the album; there exists a chiaroscuro that gives faith in life."

Ahem. Remember he is a poet.

Enough of the words though. Check out his official website if you want to know more about him and there's also an excellent short bio (in English) on Radio France Internationale's site.

For the moment, here are just three tracks from the album, each of them exquisite.

Enjoy.

"Maintenant je reviens"

"Demain sera parfait"

"Puisses tu"

Dominique Strauss-Kahn and that "interview"

2011-09-20T14:43:00.004+02:00

So, the former head of the International Monetary Fund Dominique Strauss-Kahn (DSK) has "spoken" to the French in a mind-numbingly tedious and staged interview on prime time news here.

Dominique Strauss-Kahn (screenshot from TF1 interview)

The subject of course, as if you needed telling, was what really happened in room 2806 of the Sofitel in New York on May 15.

Except what viewers were treated to was anything but an insight.

Instead it was a carefully orchestrated affair with DSK claiming he had been proven innocent, admitting to a "moral failing" (so that's the new, politically correct term for any indecent behaviour) and almost terrifying poor Claire Chazal, the journalist faced with the onerous task of not asking anything that might embarrass.

Humility, sincerity and honesty were hardly at the top of DSK's agenda as he twisted the facts to suit his proclaimed "innocence".

He brandished the report of the New York County District Attorney Cyrus Vance junior, claiming that it not only proved his innocence but also showed that Nafissatou Diallo had lied throughout, an inaccuracy in interpretation TF1 was quick to point out in the following night's prime time news, presented by Laurance Ferrari, a journalist who might just have given DSK more of a grilling had she been allowed the "honour" of interviewing him.

http://videos.tf1.fr/jt-20h/que-contient-au-juste-le-rapport-du-procureur-brandi-par-dsk-6716434.html

But Ferrari wasn't the one who had been chosen. Rather it was Chazal, a women with decades of experience, an anchor of TF1's lunchtime and evening news at the weekend and reportedly a friend of DSK's wife Anne Sinclair (herself a former television journalist).

The 54-year-old was clearly frustrated at the limits that had so obviously been given to her and the whole "interview" proved to be nothing more than a charade.

Diallo had lied...she was also, just like the French writer and journalist Tristane Banon, who accused DSK of trying to assault her in 2003, a troubled woman... the weekly news magazine L'Express was nothing but a tabloid....the US justice system had frightened and humiliated him even before he had been able to proclaim his innocence...and on and on it went.

Great television though - well in terms of ratings - as it pulled in around 13 million viewers.

If you want to watch the whole "performance" in its original French, then sit back, listen and "Watch with Mother" to all 23 minutes and 47 seconds worth.

Bon courage.

div>

L'interview de DSK au 20h : l'intégrale

Cora Vaucaire dies - "the end of an era"

2011-09-20T09:22:00.006+02:00

You know when you're sitting there, doing nothing in particular while listening to the radio when all of a sudden a song is played that blows you away?

Such was the case this past weekend, and a quick Shazam revealed it to be " La complainte de la butte" performed devinely by Cora Vaucaire.

Cora Vaucaire (screenshot from YouTube video)

Off to Google for more information and sadly it transpired that the song was being played in memory of Vaucaire who died on Friday night at the age of 93.

In an official statement the French prime minister, François Fillon, paid tribute to the woman nicknamed, because of the clothes she wore when performing, "la dame blanche de Saint-Germain-des-Prés" and noted the sad coincidence that Vaucaire had died the weekend the country was celebrating its national heritage as part of Les Journées Européenes du Patrimoine.

"She was a delicate woman whose figure was as fragile as her voice was powerful, clear and subtle," he said.

"It's sad that on the day we're celebrating the beauty of our patrimony we should lose one of the greatest interpreters of French musical heritage of the 20th century."

As he always does when a great French artist dies, the minister of culture, Frédéric Mitterrand, also paid tribute to Vaucaire saying that, "She had been the last representative of an era of French music, and that her death marked the end of that era."

More digging quickly disclosed just why Vaucaire earned such praise from both men.

"She was" wrote Agence France Presse, "one of the main ambassadors of the so-called 'rive gauche' (left bank) music from the 1950s; an advocate without concession of music from the Middle Ages to contemporary French poets such as (Jacques) Prévert, (Louis) Aragon, and (Charles) Trenet."

Born July 22, 1918 in Marseille, Geneviève Collin (her real name) was the widow of French lyricist Michel Vaucaire (1904-1980) the man who, together with Charles Dumont, composed "Je ne regrette rien".

Perhaps the one song that stands out from her complete repertoire, and the one for which she is best known, is from Jean Renoir's 1954 (Italy) 55 (France) film "French Cancan".

Anna Amendola might be the woman you see performing in the role of Esther Georges, but when it comes to singing "La complainte de la butte", it's Vaucaire's voice you hear.

So just for a moment, forget all that modern day warbling that passes for singing and mindless songs probably requiring less than a moment's thought as they're thumped out for mass consumptions.

And instead wallow in some "real" music, a sublime voice and a time gone by which somehow, although it no longer exists, will surely remain forever.

Oh yes, and it doesn't matter one jot if you don't understand a word.

Friday's French music break - Sinclair, "Ça tourne dans ma tête"

2011-09-16T10:00:00.000+02:00

Friday's French music break this week is from singer-songwriter Sinclair, who perhaps hasn't quite lived up to winning the best newcomer award (confusingly in the category "group") at the 1995 Victoires de la musique (the French equivalent of the Grammys).

Sinclair (screenshot from YouTube video)

Sinclair (real name Mathieu Blanc-Francard) is very much now a solo act and one whose musical influences, according to his official site, include Stevie Wonder, Jimi Hendrix and Sly Stone.

Yes, the 41-year-old has groove, soul and funk in his blood, as you can hear from his latest single "Ça tourne dans ma tête".

But there's a problem with the sound and his undeniable talent at writing songs with rhythm.

First up he hasn't got a great deal of it when he moves - well not if the video is anything to go by.

Secondly his voice isn't that great and the sound is just a little dated.

It might have shades of Mika to it and although it's definitely something to bop around to, that's it really.

Nothing more. Nothing really fresh and innovative.

And that surely just has to be a little embarrassing as Sinclair was a judge during two seasons of the now defunct TV talent show Nouvelle Star (the French version of Pop Idol) before stepping down in 2009 because he hadn't been satisfied with the musical and artistic level of the candidates during season seven.

Anyway, this is his latest single, taken from the imaginatively titled album "Sinclair" (must have taken a long time to come up with that, as it's only his tenth).

Take a listen and see what you think.

And if you like it, perhaps you want to check him out live.

For a full list of tour dates (march and April 2012) check out his website or go to his Facebook page.

A French melon-powered power plant

2011-09-15T11:11:00.005+02:00

Do you like melons? Tasty aren't they?

Sweet when ripe, and refreshing.

North American "cantaloupes" (from Wikipedia, USDA photo by Scott Bauer. Image Number K7355-11.)

You've got to be careful about storing them though because apparently their pungent pong can permeate other food and you've probably also noticed how their remains can stink out a kitchen when left in the bin.

Something to do with the amount of methane melons produce when they decompose - just like all fruit really.

The company Boyer S.A Philibon in the southwestern département of Tarn et Garonne knows all about that.

It's one of France's biggest producers and packers of melons and its processing station is in the town of Moissac.

But Boyer S.A also has a huge waste problem in the shape of rotten melons - 1,800 tonnes of them annually.

So earlier this year it called in the experts, turning to the Belgian-based company GreenWatt, a specialist in building, designing and maintaining biogas plants and the fruits (ouch) of the two companies collaboration will be unveiled on Friday.

That's when France's first biogas plant or anaerobic digester will open.

And it'll apparently be able to produce enough hot water for the whole of the Boyer S.A site as well as the equivalent of electricity for 150 homes which it'll sell back to the country's largest utility company Électricité de France.

Not bad going for a load of mouldy fruit, and very green to boot.

So forget nuclear, coal, hydro-electric, thermal, wind and solar power.

The future is melon - well at least as far as Boyer S.A is concerned.

Gérard Depardieu "explains" airplane pee incident on US TV

2011-09-14T20:14:00.004+02:00

So Gérard Depardieu, that great slob of a Frenchman with his disgusting manners, has had his day on US television.

Gérard Depardieu (screenshot "Anderson" talk show)

You might remember the incident aboard a Paris-Dublin 'plane last month when one of France's best-known actors reportedly peed in front of other passengers because a member of the cabin crew refused to allow him to use the loo just as the 'plane was ready to taxi for take off.

That was followed up by a laughing fit live on air from TV presenter and journalist Anderson Cooper as he joked about the incident.

Well, the two men came face-to-face, albeit via satellite, on a recent edition of Cooper's syndicated talk show "Anderson" and it was a chance for Depardieu to give his version of what had happened and for Cooper to quiz him as to why he had peed on the 'plane.

As you can hear from the accompanying video (it's all in English - just for a change - although heavily accented and guttural on the part of Depardieu) Cooper, who insists on calling the actor "Depardoo" praised him for his "fine sense of humour" and milked a ridiculous incident for all it was worth.

And much to the delight of an audience tittering away in a manner worthy of the canned laughter that accompanies so many cheesy sitcoms, Depardieu showed absolutely no remorse for his vulgar gesture and passed it off as...well see for yourselves.

It's hilarious - not.

And how great it is to see arguably one of France's finest actors make such a complete buffoon of himself - again.

Oh well.

Jeannie Longo's husband accused of buying banned EPO

2011-09-14T12:29:00.007+02:00

It's a sad day for cycling and for sport in general when one of France's greatest cyclists is embroiled in a potential doping scandal.

But that's exactly what women's cyclist Jeannie Longo is facing at the moment.

Jeannie Longo (screenshot from BFM TV report)

It all began on Friday when the sports daily L'Équipe reported that Longo faced a possible suspension for having missed a series of random drugs tests by giving the Agence Française de Lutte contre le Dopage (the French Anti-Doping Agency, AFDL) insufficient information as to her wherereabouts.

The 52-year-old is a sporting phenomenon who just a couple of months ago won her 59th national title and whose exploits over a long career have seen her win 13 world championships and four Olympic medals, including Gold in the 1996 Road Race at the Atlanta Games.

Not surprisingly she is widely considered to be one of the greatest women cyclists of all time and in a survey conducted in August by L'Équipe magazine, the weekly supplement to the sports daily, Longo topped the list as France's favourite practising sports personality.

On Saturday though another report appeared in L'Équipe.

This time it involved Longo's husband and trainer Patrice Ciprelli who, the paper revealed, had apparently bought the banned performance enhancing drug EPO back in 2007.

The accusations were based on evidence supplied to the paper Joseph (Joe) Papp, described in the French media as an "obscure and second rate former professional road racing cyclist from the United States."

Indeed Papp is hardly an angel. He served a two-year suspension after testing positive for testosterone in 2006 and after he retired, appeared as a witness in the case against the former Tour de France winner and fellow countryman Floyd Landis.

In an interview with L'Équipe, Papp said he had sold EPO to Ciprelli but had no direct contact with Longo.

"He (Ciprelli) didn't mention her by name but I figured out the drugs were for her," he told the paper.

"In one email he said he wanted EPO for his wife, stressing all the time that he would pay for it himself and he wanted it delivered to a third party."

The paper also published copies of an alleged email exchange between the two men in which Papp appeared as the intermediary for Ciprelli in his ordering and purchasing of EPO from China.

The accusations have been taken seriously by the governing body for cycling in France, Fédération Française de Cyclisme, FFC.

On Tuesday its president, David Lappartient, announced that Ciprelli was being suspended while an investigation was launched.

"The accusations are ones that cannot be taken lightly and I think that for the sake of the French team it's important to relieve Ciprelli of his duties temporarily," he told BFM TV.

"I cannot comment on the accuracy of the so-called evidence and claims, but it seemed logical to me to take this step especially as the team is due to compete in the World Championships next week."

Those World Championships take place in Copenhagen, Denmark, and Longo is due to represent France in the time trials...unless the AFDL decides to open an investigation.

A slice of life in France - Lautrec, Tarn

2011-09-12T16:54:00.016+02:00

As the website Travel France Online says, the French painter Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec never set foot in the village of Lautrec in the southwest of France even though it was the ancestral home of the artist's family.

Lautrec, Tarn

But plenty of visitors tread its streets each year thanks largely to its status as one of "Les Plus Beaux Villages de France" (The most beautiful villages of France), its proximity to the striking city of Albi, and yes...the garlic.

Rue de Lengouzy, Lautrec,

Now it's not often you can say you've been to one of the garlic capital's of the world - and it's not something you might want to admit to - but l'ail rose de Lautrec (or pink garlic to the rest of us) is apparently "recognised by gourmets as prince of seasonings, with a flavour that is particularly sought after" and its growth and harvesting are strictly certified and confined to the clay-chalky hillsides surrounding the village.

For those Garlicophiles among you (there must be some) try checking out these sites for more information (both in English); the first one is a tourist site for Tarn and the second is dedicated solely to Lautrec's pink garlic.

Oh yes, and if that isn't enough, you might want to give the recipe for pink garlic soup in the photo a bash.

Yum.

Pink garlic soup recipe

Anyway, moving on rapidly from garlic, Lautrec is one of three villages in the département of Tarn (along with Castelnau de Montmiral and Puycelsi) belonging to the independent association of "Les Plus Beaux Villages de France" whose aim is to "protect and promote" French villages (of fewer than 2,000 inhabitants) which it deems to have "outstanding heritage" and which have "not turned into soulless museums or 'theme parks'".

Lautrec fits the bill perfectly.

A 30-kilometre drive from the département's main city of Albi, a Unesco World Heritage site since August 2010, and just 15 kilometres away from the second city of Castres, Lautrec is a gem with bags of historical and architectural interest for a place that boasts barely 1,700 local Lautrécois or Lautrécoises.

17th century restored windmill, Lautrec

Steps to windmill

Make your way up to 17th century mill almost near the peak of la Colline de la Salette and take a moment to catch your breath and admire how well it has been restored before going further for a panoramic view of the village.

Lautrec, Tarn - panoramic view

Lane to windmill

Take the steps down the village lane - mind how you go - and pay a visit to L'église Saint-Rémy (Saint-Rémy church) dating back to the 14th century, listed as an Historic Monument in France since 1999 and one of the village landmarks. You can't miss it.

Throughout the village you can admire the beautifully maintained traditional half-timbered houses, the 15th century market place and visit the underground grain silos all of which, according to the village's official website, "make it a veritable living history book".

Half-timbered houses

Clog maker and nature walk sign

Place des Halles, Lautrec

For more of a taste as to what Lautrec has to offer, take a look at the accompanying YouTube video which is a diaporama of one visitor's impressions.

La Terrasse de Lautrec

And finally if you do pay the place a visit and are looking for somewhere to stay, then check out the 17th century La Terrasse de Lautrec, a bed and breakfast on rue de l'Eglise in the heart of the village, a member of the French Chambres d'Hôtes de Charme and whose magnificent front door is just asking to be knocked...very loudly.

Bon voyage.

Friday's French music break - Ornette, "Crazy"

2011-09-09T12:23:00.006+02:00

Friday's French music break this week is "hot off the press" so-to-speak.

It's the single "Crazy" from the yet-to-be-released debut album by Ornette.

Ornette (screenshot from YouTube video of live performance during Disquaire day)

Never heard of her?

Don't be surprised, as she's not exactly a household name here in France - yet.

All the same, the 28-year-old Bettina Kee (her real name) has some pretty impressive credentials and is very much the new darling of the French public radio channel France Inter at the moment.

And with reason.

Because Ornette's "Crazy (sea me)" is quite simply delightful, delicious and different.

She has worked with the likes of the Australian-born singer Micky Green, French musician Arthur H and the late, great Alain Bashung and her sound is...well...unique.

Interviewing Ornette on France Inter, the presenter Augustin Trapenard, who is clearly a fan, described her as, "A musician, pianist and singer with more than one identity and an eclecticism that comes across on the album."

And the woman who apparently likes both Dido and Lady Gaga explained how she chose her stage name.

It's in honour of the American saxophonist, violinist, trumpeter and composer, described as one of the "major innovators of the free jazz movement in the 1960s" Ornette Coleman.

"One of his songs is called 'Lonely woman' and that was what I wanted to call myself when I first started performing alone," she said.

"But I found that a bit 'heavy' and redundant, so instead I plumped for 'Ornette' which I also found a very pretty name and it's also appropriate because even if I don't exactly play the same sort of music, I also like improvising when I play."

Anyway, if you want to catch Ornette at one of her upcoming concerts, scoot along to her official site for a full listing.

In the meantime, kick back those heels and enjoy both the France Inter interview and the single "Crazy" - the teaser...and far too short.

CRAZY SEA ME TEASER par LadyKeettie

And just for the hell of it, the full version performed live during Disquaire day in April 2011

The postcard "lost" for 41 years, vanishes again

2011-09-09T10:45:00.006+02:00

Perhaps you're an optimist and believe that nothing ever gets "lost in the post" and instead mail failing to arrive at its destination on time has simply "gone missing"...for a while.

It's there, somewhere in the system. But nobody really has a clue where.

(from Wikipedia)

Well a cynic might say that's what the postal service would want us to believe.

Except occasionally there really is evidence that our sometimes tried and tested patience is not misplaced.

Such is the case of a postcard, according to the regional daily La Dépêche du Midi, sent by a certain Monsieur Le Petit in July.

He was holidaying in the southwestern village of Praz-sur-Arly and wanted to say a simple "hello" to his friends, Madame et Monsieur Bigot, who were renting a gite just over 630 kilometres away in the southwestern village of Saint-Martin-de-Vers.

"The area is very beautiful," wrote M Le Petit.

"See you soon. Enjoy your holiday and have a good rest."

The card plopped through the letter box of Charles Dardenne, the farmer who owns the gite, at the end of August.

But the Bigots weren't there.

And with good cause.

Because the card was postmarked July, 1970.

Yes it had taken a mere 41 years to reach its destination.

Dardenne, when interviewed by the paper for Thursday's edition said he was thinking about tracking down the Bigot family and M Le Petit to find out what had happened to them.

Clearly though, the postcard had other thoughts, because a day later, when contacted by Agence France Presse, the farmer said it had gone missing - again.

"It's a mystery, but I cannot find it," he said.

"Perhaps it'll make a reappearance in another 41 year, but I won't be around to see it," he added.

Aliens?

A French couple's "toothsome" lunchtime discovery

2011-09-08T12:19:00.004+02:00

A gentle warning before you read any further, especially if you're just about to sit down to eat.

The following tale might put you off your grub.

(from Wikipedia, author Rainer Z)

That's certainly the effect it had on a couple in the western French town of Guérande on the coast of Brittany

Retired policeman Jean-Paul Dosset and his wife Claudine, had defrosted some chipolatas and put them on the grill to share with family and friends for lunch on Monday.

And all was well until, as the regional daily Ouest France reports, Claudine bit into one of the sausages and discovered of all things...a tooth.

Well to be precise it was a post crown; not exactly the most appetising accompaniment to the meal and one which, not surprisingly really, rather put the couple and their guests off their food.

"There were chipolatas, steak haché (mince) and chips on the menu," 61-year old Dosset said on Laurent Ruquier's daily round-table radio show "On va s’gêner" on Europe 1

"We're a large family and we didn't know how many people would be coming to lunch," he continued.

"My wife took a mouthful of chipolata and felt something hard, first of all thinking it was a bone.

"But after she discovered what it was, that was curtains for the main course and we went straight to the dessert - a yoghurt."

Their cat ate the rest of the sausages and lunch on Tuesday was fish.

The manufacturer of the chipolata, Défial Normival, is more than a little non-plussed about how the offending tooth apparently managed to make its way inside the sausage in the first place, as the director of quality control, Cédric Loyer told Ouest France the day after the story first hit the headlines

"The meat passes through several processes of cutting and mincing," he told the paper.

"It's impossible that the tooth managed to get through without being detected or being marked in any way."

The Dossets don't intend to ask for compensation, but they still have the tooth and have written a letter to Défial Normival, repeating their story.

Meanwhile the company is reportedly waiting for a "complete analysis" before making any further comment.

This latest "toothsome" discovery comes just a month after a couple from the western city of Angers found a post crown - complete with root - in their lunchtime steak haché.

As the French say, "Bon appetit".

Yvonne, Germany's runaway cow, is safe and happy

2011-09-06T13:43:00.005+02:00

After three months "on the run" Yvonne - Germany's "fugitive" cow - is safe and happily reunited with her son and sister and enjoying a new life at an animal sanctuary in southern Germany.

Yvonne, Germany's runaway cow (screenshot from Guardian website)

Yvonne's story is one that has captured the imagination of both the German and international media over the past couple of months ever since she, in the words of NPR, "Darted to freedom just as she was about to be sent to the slaughterhouse."

After 98 days on the run, she has finally been captured.

Actually, to be absolutely precise and, in spite of all the attempts German authorities have made to find her, Yvonne "gave herself up" when she wandered into the meadow of a farmer last week.

Yes, a silly summer story with a happy ending.

Yvonne, a six-year-old dairy cow, first hit the headlines back in May when broke through an electric fence of a farm in the village of Zangberg, 80 kilometres northeast of Munich.

She had been due to be sent for slaughter.

Her exact whereabouts remained a mystery for the next three months although she was believed to be "in hiding" somewhere in a nearby forest.

At one point she was spotted crossing a road, almost colliding with a police car, which led to the local authority giving hunters the go-ahead to shoot on sight because she was reportedly a potential threat to traffic.

It was an order they later overturned after animal rights groups protested and the national daily tabloid Bild Zeitung took up her cause.

The paper offered a €10,000 reward for anyone who could find her, and kept the story alive with regular updates.

The Gut Aiderbichl animal sanctuary also stepped in, stumping up €700 to buy Yvonne from her former owners and taking the lead in the search to find her; and it resorted to some extraordinary measures.

They included enlisting the help of her sister Waltraut, who had also made a dash for freedom when Yvonne disappeared but had later returned, to lure her out of hiding.

And the services of Ernst, the so-called "George Clooney of bulls" to woo her home with his "deep baritone moo".

Ernst the bull (screenshot from ZDF news report)

They also called upon the "skills" of an animal communications expert from Switzerland, Franziska Matti, to tempt Yvonne to return.

But as Matti said after she had "spoken" to the cow (telepathically of course) "Yvonne was not ready to come out of hiding" and even though "she knew that Ernst had been waiting for her she was scared and thought that humans would lock her up and she would no longer be free."

Huh!

Yvonne remained elusive - until last week that is when she wandered on to a meadow of farmer Karl Gutmann to join the rest of his grazing herd.

He informed the Gut Aiderbichl animal sanctuary who confirmed it was Yvonne by her ear tag.

Gutmann claimed his reward and Yvonne headed off to spend the rest of her days with her son Friesi and her sister at the animal sanctuary in the southern Bavarian town of Deggendorf.

But, even though Gut Aiderbichl says on its website that she has arrived safe and sound and is settling in, it wasn't exactly been an easy job loading her on to the transporter.

True to her reputation apparently, she struggled and even pushed over the vet who was trying to tranquilise her.

Friday's French music break - Imany, "You will never know"

2011-09-02T10:00:00.001+02:00

Friday's French music break this week is from a woman with the most extraordinary voice.

Love it or hate it, "You will never know" by Imany cannot leave you indifferent.

Imany (screenshot from interview on France 2 television)

It's the first single taken from her debut album "The shape of a broken heart" and would, on the face of it, appear to be the French music scene's discovery of the summer as far as the media here is concerned.

Much has been written about her over the past couple of months and she has made multiple appearances on both television and radio.

But musical success has come neither easily nor quickly for the 30-year-old, who said in a recent interview that it was, "A dream come true" but one which "had taken some time to fulfil."

That's mainly down to her having spent seven years based in New York as a model, a career she didn't exactly plan but "fell into".

Born in France, Nadia Mladjao (her real name) is of Comorian origin and one of 10 children and although she had always wanted to be a singer she also had some hang-ups about her voice.

"That's what I wanted to do when I was seven, but I also thought that it was something other people did and not me," she said.

"In addition I was a bit self-conscious about my voice because when I was small nobody told me that I had a good voice, rather they said it was a 'big' one and I didn't think singing was for me."

Any thoughts of pursuing her childhood dream were put on the back burner when Nadia was "discovered" in the Paris metro and there followed seven years modelling in what she described as an "average career complete with its highs and lows" and during which, when she didn't have work, she continued to write.

"Nadia" became "Imany" ("faith" in Swahili) - a name she plumped for without knowing its meaning because, "At the time there were plenty of girls who worked for the agency who were called 'Nadia' and I didn't want to be 'Nadia number four'."

A fitting choice as it turned out as, "Without faith we'll never achieve anything," she said.

And three years ago, according to her biography on her official website, not exactly thrilled with life as a model, she gave it all up, took the risk of returning to Paris with just "A few clothes, some photos and half-a-dozen original songs."

Hard work, knocking on doors, a string of small gigs as the opening act for other artists and getting heard by the right people paid off, and last year she had enough of a reputation and self-penned material to record her first album with a number of well-known and highly-respected French musicians.

The result was the album "The shape of a broken heart", one which has brought about plenty of comparisons with the Grammy award-winning US singer-songwriter Tracy Chapman.

And that's largely because of Imany's resonant and powerful voice - the very same one she had something of a complex about when she was a girl.

"It doesn't annoy me at all when I'm called 'the new Tracy Chapman' because I'm a fan," she says.

"I just think it's a little bit of an exaggeration as there's only one Tracy Chapman."

"Hey honey, where's Junior?" Parents "forget" son at a roadside rest area

2011-08-30T14:08:00.006+02:00

"Home alone" might only have been a 1990 film dreamt up by scriptwriters as a comedy in which Macaulay Culkin played the part of an eight-year-old boy mistakenly left behind when his parents fly off to Paris for their Christmas hols.

But let's face it, fact can be - and often is - stranger than fiction as the parents of an eight-year-old French boy can attest to after their weekend "lapse of memory".

They reportedly "forgot" their son on the side of the road, leaving him at a rest area and only realising he was missing half an hour later.

Lourdes Basilica (Wikipedia, author Milorad Pavlek)

The couple from the suburbs of Paris were on their way to the market town of Lourdes at the foot of the Pyrénées in southwestern France.

It is of course famous as a destination for Catholic pilgrimage and alleged miraculous healings.

They had set off on their holidays early on Saturday morning; mum, dad and three children in a camping car.

The roads were pretty busy with holidaymakers, just as they are every Saturday in August in France.

As Agence France Presse reports, at around nine o'clock in the evening, after having completed just over 700 of their 800 kilometre journey, the couple decided to take a break, and they stopped at a rest area on the nationale 21 in the département of Gers.

A few minutes later, refreshed and ready for the final stretch, they set off again, and it was only when they arrived in Lourdes that they realised one of their children was missing.

They immediately rang the emergency services, to be told that their son was with the police who had been alerted by other motorists who had seen the child alone at the rest area.

About turn - they were reunited with him a couple of hours later.

So, how could parents apparently "forget" one of their children?

It sounds even weirder than the recent case of the man who left his wife at the side of the road in the dead of night without realising she was missing.

That also happened in the southwest of France - is there something in the water perhaps?

Well there's a simple and innocent enough explanation according to the national daily France Soir.

When the family stopped, all three children were apparently asleep in the back of the camping car.

But while the parents stretched their legs, the eight-year-old slipped out without them noticing.

So they didn't really "forget" him. They just didn't realise he wasn't there.

In their infinite wisdom, the police have decided not to pursue the case, putting it all down to fatigue and a momentary lack of attention at the end of a long journey.

Maybe though, as the regional daily Midi Libre comments, the couple will light up a candle or two in thanks at their final destination.

One thing is for certain - it's a holiday neither the boy nor his parents will forget in a hurry.