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Monday, 3 September 2012

Incomplete dancing faction - "Danse avec les Stars" goes politicial

Hey folks, it's time to dig out your tutu, reach for your ballet slippers or pull on your tights, because the producers of TF1's "Danse avec les Stars", the French equivalent of that oh-so excellent (cough, splutter) British show "Strictly Come Dancing", have apparently finalised the line-up of the jury and competitors for next season's extravaganza.

Shy'm winner of "Danse avec les Stars" season 2 (screenshot from TF1 video)
Yes, the programme which has celebrities twirling and whirling, pirouetting and gyrating, while audiences for some reason trip the light fantastic in their millions from their armchairs will be back shortly for its third season.

And that supposedly serious weekly news magazine Nouvel Observateur has proudly divulged nine of the 10 contestants and they include singers Chimène Badi, Amel Bent, Lorie and Emmanuel Moire.

But hang about. Take a closer look at the source of Nouvel Obs' revelations and it turns out to be none other than the weekly celebrity gossip magazine, Voici.

Could something be awry here in the veracity of the "reporting"?

The truth will out, of course, and after some very basic shoe leather pavement pounding, your intrepid provider of the (sur)real story behind the headlines can disclose what TF1 actually has planned for viewers in a few weeks time.

Yes "Danse avec les stars" will be back on the screens and the format will be similar to that of the previous two seasons with "celebrities" looking to give a boost to their careers with a healthy dose of prime time TV exposure.

But - and here's where it gets interesting the competitors this time around will be different.
And how.

Because TF1 has decided to put politicians past and present (but mainly past) through their steps in a special "Shuffle avec les Stars" edition.

Yes, so now you're probably desperate to know who has already agreed to strut their stuff for our entertainment pleasure.


Here goes.

Dominique Strauss-Kahn was apparently the first to agree.

Now Anne Sinclair-less, the former head of the International Monetary Fund has been looking around for some way of breaking the sex scandal cycle of news ever since that infamous Sofitel incident.

Plus apparently he has always had a bit of a thing about lycra tights.

Not surprisingly perhaps, producers have decided to team him up with a professional male partner.

Also appearing will be Ségolène Royal, who of course has absolutely nothing better to do at the moment.  In an interesting twist - yes the production team has really pulled out all the stops - Seggers will be paired, not with a professional dancer but with...Valérie Trierweiler.

It should be intriguing to see who tries to lead as the couple spin each other in all directions around the floor, stiletto (heels) at the ready.

Seggers-Trierweiler aren't the only "couple" appearing on the show though.

The leader of the far right Front National, Marine Le Pen, will be partnered by the man to whom she once not-so-jokingly offered honorary party membership, former interior minister  Claude Guéant.

Indeed, the first indication from the bookmakers is that Le Pen-Guéant could be favourites to win as they're so obviously already in step with one another.

Where you'll find Guéant, you would also expect to spot the man for whom he so eloquently wrote for so many years, Nicolas Sarkozy.

Sure enough, the former president has also agreed to take part, seemingly bored of riding his tricycle around the Cap Nègre estate of his wife's family and desperate to do anything to keep himself occupied during his self-imposed political retirement.

One condition he apparently made before signing on the dotted line was that he would be allowed to wear platform shoes throughout the series.

Although she also announced on her Twitter account that she would be happy to dance, former minister Nadine Morano faces one huge challenge and the programme makers are not quite sure how to handle it. Apparently Morano wants to take part, but nobody is willing to dance with her.

And finally of course former justice minister and current member of the European parliament Rachida Dati has agreed to waft in and out of the show whenever the mood takes her accompanied by Chanel, Gucci, Prada and a whole host of other fashion houses

You'll notice that not all of the 10 slots have been filled, so there are still some surprises to come.

Sadly rumours that François Hollande might be able to find time in between his tanning sessions for fandango or two have been "normally" denied by one of his spokesmen who insisted that the "president had been flattered by the invitation," but also "thought he should look as though he were running the country even if he were not."

With several weeks still to go until the show hits the small screen, stay tuned to this post to discover who else will be hoofing it across the dancefloor.

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