What follows might seem like complete fiction but, believe it or not, it's absolutely true.
There's a new fizzy drink about to take France by...er...storm and it's one which its inventors say has the power to make you randy.
Yes these two Frenchman clearly think they've cornered the market in the wonderful world of entrepreneurship by coming up with what's described as a refreshment, "with alleged aphrodisiac qualities".
And the name they've given it?
Well what else but in honour of the Frenchman most famous for allegedly brandishing his "appendage" at the most inopportune and inappropriate occasions.
Yep we're talking Dominique Strauss-Kahn or DSK here.
The Drink Safran Kiwi (DSK, or Saffron Kiwi Drink) is the...er...brainchild of Stéphane Briault, who initially came up with the recipe , and Patrice Guillard, a producer of the essential ingredient necessary for livening the libido - saffron.
"Ever since ancient times, saffron has been known to have many virtues," the master of the cocktail, Briault, explained in a radio interview with France Bleu Creuse.
"It's an antidepressant, is known to bring joy and wisdom, heal the liver, lower blood pressure, stimulate respiration, and (wait for this) is believed to be an aphrodisiac for women."
Yes...well. Quite as the great man would presumably like to have perceived himself, don't you think?
To get the "purely natural" balance of saffron, kiwi, sugar and soda just right, Briault said he tested it out on family and friends (the mind boggles).
Launched officially on Monday, 10,000 bottles of the alcohol-free drink are ready for nightclubbers in Paris and the south of France to enjoy over the summer.
Yes. Well. Um.
Do you think the French version of the Huffington Post will be running with this story?
From Domme - [image: From Domme] Domme is a village perched on top of a cliff in the French South-West (Périgord). The view of the Dordogne Valley from there is stunni...