Raffles hotel - the tale of the overdone egg and the uncooked burger

Now you're probably thinking that as this is a travel piece it'll be a rapturous review of what is probably one of the most famous names in luxury hotels in the world - Raffles in Singapore.

Well it's not.

"Been there, done that" so to speak, and if you're interested in taking time out to join me in a quick visit I made last year to Number One Beach Road, then you're more than welcome.

Instead this is purely anecdotal in illustrating how some tourists (mis)behave when abroad, with the focus being on those from my adopted home - France - and the country from which I hail, Britain.

And "the action", as such, took place as I made a return visit to Raffles just last week and featured two exchanges between guests and staff that left me with eyes agog, ears a-flapping and a fair measure of embarrassment.

The setting: it's mid morning around the rooftop pool and I'm recovering from a 13-hour trip, slouched over a cool drink in 32 degrees Celsius.

First up the French, who after all have a reputation for being among the most unwelcome when on holiday abroad as a survey of hoteliers carried out on behalf of the Internet travel agency Expedia.fr illustrated last year.

"I want some eggs," said a woman in heavily accented and gutteral English to the barman.

"Certainly madam. How would you like them?" came the smiling response. "Poached, eggs benedict, as an omelette or scrambled perhaps?"

"No none of those," replied the woman. "Just simple...How you say?"

"Boiled?" came the helpful suggestion.

"Yes boiled - three my-newts (French pronunciation remember). One for me and one for my friend."

"Very good madam. And would you like anything else with your eggs?"

"Just toast and some tea," she replied. "Earl Grey for both of us."

"Certainly madam. Just to recap then that's two boiled eggs, toast and Earl Grey tea?"

"Yes. That takes how long?"

"About 10 minutes," came the reply.

"No longer than that," snapped the woman in response. "We're hungry".

Um. Do you notice anything missing?

You know, the simple words "please" and "thank you" that most of us are taught from an early age help jolly along a simple request and aren't exactly difficult to remember.

It was a point I made to my "Nearest and Dearest" (N 'n' D, who happens to be French) as I smugly maintained that what we had just overheard was evidence enough that the French abroad have appalling manners and that their reputation as "arrogant and rude" holidaymakers was more than deserved.

As if to add weight to my argument, when the eggs arrived and had been downed there came the complaint that they had "Obviously been boiled for more than three my-newts as they were almost hard."

There was clearly no pleasing the woman.

But I was to eat humble pie somewhat a few moments later when a fellow Brit proved that he could be even more obnoxious when it suited.

It happened when he requested that local speciality, burger and fries "With no trimmings such as onions, tomatoes, cheese or any other similar muck, just some meat and a roll please."

"Well at least the man had had the good grace, if not the taste, to round off the whole 'order' with a 'please'," I mouthed across the table to my N 'n' D.

But my sense of smugness quickly disappeared when the burger arrived, as it was far from being to the man's satisfaction because "It's raw," he insisted. "Inedible (he actually said uneatable but I'll let that one slide) and I wanted it medium to well done."

The manager was called for. The man repeated his complaint that his burger hadn't been cooked as he had requested, and he went to great (and noisy) lengths to demonstrate that - as far as he was concerned - it was not just under but completely uncooked.

"Look at that," he said to the manager.

"Does that look as though it has been medium to well done?" he continued.

"No it doesn't," he said emphatically, not pausing for breath and pointing at the barman.

"He clearly doesn't understand what 'medium to well done' means. This burger isn't cooked properly and I can't eat it."

Apologies were made by the manager on the barman's behalf and the irate Brit was told that the kitchen would be asked to cook another burger "exactly as requested."

Sadly when burger number two arrived, it didn't meet the demands of the guest either, and as his grievance levels rose a couple of decibels so his manners deteriorated accordingly before he swore at the staff, accused them of not being able to understand a simple request and stormed off in a huff - burgerless.

Within the space of half an hour the hotel staff had been subjected to some pretty appalling behaviour by my fellow Europeans.

Was it, I wondered, simply that some people didn't know how to behave and as it costs a pretty penny or two to stay at Raffles, did that mean some guests thought they could afford to be downright rude?

And did the hotel's principle of pampering visitors and responding to their every whim and caprice encourage guests to give free rein to the very worst sort of behaviour.

I didn't, and still don't, have the answer, but one thing is clear. That old adage "travel broadens the mind" certainly doesn't apply to everyone.

New Year in Bali - the sound of silence

Happy New Year!



Yes you've read correctly.

Even though Tuesday is just another working day for most of us, for the people of Bali it's Nyepi Day or the "Day of Silence" which this year falls on March 16.

While most countries around the world welcome in the beginning of a new year with celebrations (and all too often those regrettable hangovers) the folk on this Indonesian island take the whole affair much more sedately and, as the name suggests, mark it in silence.

It's proceeded by an evening which provides a stark contrast of the day that is to follow with Nyepi ushered in by a carnival-like atmosphere as the local people proudly parade giant effigies or Ogoh-ogoh figures made especially for the occasion.



They represent "evil spirits" and their purpose is to purify the "natural environment of any spiritual pollutants emitted from the activities of living beings" - including man.

And after being paraded around towns and villages they're burnt as a symbol of self purification.



But on the following day this normally bustling island of just over three-and-a-half million takes on a totally different character.

There are none of those haphazardly driven scooters or cars on the streets. There's no entertainment of any sort even though the Balinese are known for their love of gamelan music and processions.

Shops, markets, bars and restaurants are closed as is the airport in the capital Denpasar.



The traditional terraced rice paddies remain untended, televisions and radios are turned off and the only sound you're likely to hear is ...well...silence - and perhaps the barking of the island's large dog population.



In short, Bali closes down for the day as the mainly Hindu population remains at home for a period of self reflection and fasting.

All of which might all be a little disconcerting for unsuspecting holidaymakers expecting to be able to top up their tans but to no avail. The beaches are closed and tourists are more or less confined to their hotels for the day.

But in taking time out to reflect not only on themselves but also their place in the "wider scheme of things" for a whole day, the Balinese are surely setting an example from which we could perhaps all learn a little something.

So from the island of Bali, "Happy Nyepi".

Yeboah - a French lover in London

French men have something of a reputation - deserved or not - when it comes to "ardour and amour".

Whether they actually live up to it is, of course, open to debate.

But what of their male counterparts in the rest of the animal kingdom?

Can they turn on the charm when necessary? And does it work with the women?

Perhaps - no strike that - probably not a question you've really thought about.

But if the antics of one particular French ape and the attention he has received from three females at London Zoo are to be believed, then there might - just might - be something to it.

The ape in question is 12-year-old Yeboah, a gorilla who arrived in London from La Boissière du Doré zoo in western France last December.

Described as a "stud", Yeboah was shipped across the Channel to keep a bevvy of beauties (gorilla-cally-speaking) company after the death of their silverback mate "Bobby" back in 2008.

And the 127-kilogramme hunk certainly seems to have hit it off with all three; the more mature 35-year-old Zaire, the 16-year-old Effie and the slightly younger 11-year-old Mjukuu known as "Jookie".

Mind you perhaps it should come as no surprise.

You see when "les girls" learnt last summer that Yeboah would shortly be joining them, they apparently went "ape", "bananas" or whichever awful pun you wish to choose (and most of them seem to have been well and truly used).

They were given posters of their new beau several months before he made the trip across the Channel, and while one reportedly "shrieked in delight" and another "hid it in a tree", the third took matters a step further (too far?) and ate the thing!

Ah the path of true love...or lust.

Rapper's Eurovision performance leaves Spanish TV red-faced

Mario Baquero has had his 15 minutes of fame - one which undoubtedly left Spain's public broadcaster Corporación Radiotelevisión Española (RTVE) rather red-faced and television viewers more than a little open-mouthed.

Appearing under the alias of "John Cobra", the rapper appeared on RTVE television on Monday evening in a live broadcast of the country's search for a song to send to this year's Eurovision Song Contest.

Not content with putting in a less-than-impressive vocal rendition of his entry "Carol", the 31-year-old then when on to cause a commotion (to put it politely) by hurling insults at the studio audience and making obscene gestures.

And the whole "performance" was broadcast live on Spain's public television channel with more than two-and-a-half million viewers having the pleasure of the rapper's behaviour.

Yes another Eurovision Song Contest story (groan) as the "excitement" hots up around Europe with each country in the process of choosing its contestant to send to Norway in May.

The actual contest might indeed still be more than three months away, but that doesn't stop it from making the headlines.

When Spanish viewers tuned in on Monday to watch the prime time programme that would decide which act would represent the country in Oslo in May, they probably weren't expecting the eyeful and earful to which they were "treated" when Baquero stepped up to the microphone.

After being booed by the audience, the 31-year-old then went on to give as good as he had been given, much to the embarrassment of the programme's presenter, Anne Igartiburu.

She made a valiant attempt at trying to prevent Baquero from continuing his antics but even after he had finished "singing" the rapper seemed determined to revel in his newly found "glory" and subjected the viewing public to ever more lewd displays.

This being the age of the Net of course, it didn't take long for the clip to make its way to an even wider audience.

So if you're really keen to see what Spanish television viewers had the "pleasure" of experiencing, you only need to watch the accompanying video.

You don't need to understand a word of Spanish to get the gist of what he was saying.

Un rappeur obscène embarasse la télé publique espagnole
par TELEOBS

Spain (along with many other countries) drags out the whole process of choosing its candidate for the annual musical jamboree that is the Eurovision Song Contest by making a television extravaganza out of it and allowing the public to decide which act should be sent to the finals.

A decision Spain's RTVE might well be ruing after Monday night's broadcast - at least in the matter of taste if not ratings.

Perhaps they would be well advised in future to follow the example of France, where it's left to the public broadcaster to decide who will sing what, and nobody else gets a say.

Just for the record (ouch) the winning contestant - chosen by a combination of a professional jury and the viewing public - was Daniel Diges singing "Algo Pequeñito".



And Spain, one of the so-called Big Four financial contributors on which the contest depends, will be hoping he'll manage better than the 23rd place (out of 25) in Moscow last year.

Ordeal over for French tourists in Brazil

On Tuesday a Brazilian court handed down fines to two French citizens, and acquitted a third, accused of inciting a "passenger rebellion" aboard a Paris-bound flight from São Paulo on December 6.

Unless there's an appeal in the case, the ruling should bring an end to what was described by one family member back in France as a "nightmare" for all involved.

The three had been aboard a TAM-operated flight which had already spent more than three hours on the tarmac before take-off because of a malfunction in the aircraft's computer system.

Explanations from the flight crew as to the cause of the delay were apparently only offered in Portuguese and English, and some passengers, among them the three who were later arrested, panicked and requested to be allowed to disembark and take another flight.

That request was refused and somehow "talk of rebellion" reached the cockpit and the police were called in to detain the "ringleaders" and escort them from the 'plane.

So who were these three "rabble rousers" accused of endangering the lives of other passengers and delaying the departure of the TAM flight?

They weren't, as you might be thinking, drunken and uncontrollable yobs, but two retired French men, Michel Ilinskas aged 61 and Antonio Nascimento aged 64, along with Emilie Camus, a 54-year-old hospital worker, all part of a small group of tourists returning home after a two-week cruise.

Ilinskas and Nascimento were held on suspicion of being the main "troublemakers" and Camus, the only Portuguese-speaker among them, was also arrested accused of having "incited violence" through her translations.

As can be seen from the accompanying amateur video taken by another passenger aboard the same flight, they weren't exactly treated with kid gloves when they were taken off the 'plane.

Why the three (and others) reacted in the way they did, perhaps needs to be seen in the light of the Air France flight 447 from Rio de Janeiro to Paris which crashed into the Atlantic in June last year killing all 216 passengers and 12 crew members.

Indeed the fate of that flight was mentioned at the trial and Nascimento, who was fined $US 1,400, explained why he had panicked.

"It's just not normal that a 'plane which has an 11 hour journey ahead of it should be subject to three successive equipment failures," he said.

"All I did was to speak rather loudly and express my fear of dying."

As far as Ilinskas, who received a $US 2,800 fine, was concerned, the verdict might not have been fair but he was happy the ordeal was over.

"The trial didn't reflect what truly happened on the 'plane," he said.

"But what's important for me now is to be able to return to France."